Into my house just recently,
My owner brought a new machine,
I've learned to hate it passionately,
And everything it means.

I watched her as she set it up,
After all the pieces were unpacked,
She would not let me play at all,
With the cords and wires in its back.

She turned it on; it whirred a bit,
Text appeared upon a screen,
Voices came from little boxes,
And noises, too, from the machine.

She seemed to know what she was doing,
She put a disk into a slot,
I jumped up, and she said, "NO,
This is what a cat does NOT!"

Then, quite loudly she cried, "DOWN!"
Quickly pushing me aside,
I saw her staring at the screen,
As if she had been hypnotized.

On a pad next to her hand,
I saw a little mouse,
I was so thrilled to see it,
To think it was welcome in our house.

"State of the art," she said, smiling,
"It is cordless - has no tail,
Operates on batteries,
It cost more, but was on sale."

A tail-less mouse - I was impressed,
I didn't know they came that way,
She gaily pushed it back and forth,
As if she liked the way it played.

I could not take my eyes off it,
It fascinated me,
But each time I came too close,
She berated me.

She constantly shooed me away,
She would not share her mouse,
I only wished to touch it,
Why was she such a grouch?

But I knew the time would come,
She'd have to leave that darned machine,
And one night, when she'd gone to bed,
I jumped up ... unheard ... unseen.

In one big gulp, I got that mouse,
It went down pretty well,
The next day, when she asked for it,
I thought ... oh, no ... I'll never tell.

She accused me of hiding it,
She could not find it anywhere,
I soothed her from her desktop,
She was distressed - in deep despair.

I walked by in front of her.
The cursor moved upon her screen,
I walked back and forth again,
And then I heard her scream.

"What have you done? YOU BAD, BAD CAT!"
She grabbed me with both hands,
The cursor on her screen went wild,
I did not fully understand.

She turned me towards her monitor,
And swung my body to and fro,
The pointy arrow on its face,
Swung, too - so apropos.

"Oh, my gosh," she said aloud,
"I just cannot believe this,"
She moved me up and down,
Again the cursor did perceive this.

Every which way that she turned me,
The cursor followed suit,
She knew now where her mouse was,
It was an absolute.

I was in charge; she needed me,
Such a grand feeling that I had,
It would not do her any good ,
To get angry or get mad.

Her computer would not work,
Without some motion from my paw,
I handled all her E-mail,
And web surfing overall.

Then, as cats get rid of fur-balls,
Eventually, I lost the mouse,
But for a while, at least,
I was supreme within my house.

The computer now is back on line,
A new mouse sits on a pad,
It has a cord attached to it,
And the mouse is iron-clad.