>1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter

>after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received

>a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking

>intelligence.

>?

>2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two

>hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside

>his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that

>the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please

>come out and give yourself up."

>?

>3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,

>kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated

>teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from

>his own bank accounts.

>?

>4. THE GETAWAY!? A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked

>for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too

>small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for

>three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

>?

>5. DID I SAY THAT????? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a

>robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When

>detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me

>all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I

>said!".

>?

>6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My

>wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart".? "Is

>this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is

>her husband!"

>?

>7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!? In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard

>King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without

>a weapon.? King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun...?

>Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

>?

>8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!? Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in

>the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to

>boating, were having a problem.? No matter how hard they tried, they

>couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going.? It was very sluggish

>in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied.? After

>about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina,

>thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong.? A

>thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working

>condition.? The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the

>propeller was the correct size and pitch.? So, one of the marina guys

>jumped in the water to check underneath.? He came up choking on water,

>he was laughing so hard.

>

>

>NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.

>Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

>

>Don't be included in this list when it is recirculated...THINK!!!!!