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DATING GAME : Dating as a Wiccan
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From: MSN NicknameLadyMajykWhisperingOwl  (Original Message)Sent: 11/29/2008 7:16 PM
I thought I would touch on this subject a bit as I know any Teen is concerned with all the "wanna-be's" out there that say they are Wiccan just to be "Cool" or recognized as different...The young people that want to have an excuse to rebel in the name of the Goddess does not know what Wicca really is all about, which is spiritiality and NOT status.  You do not go out and flaunt that you are a Witch or a pagan...you simply are.
 
It is no different than if you were a football player or a class president...You do not flaunt it, you do not go to extremes to SHOW everyone that you are a certain belief.  Yes, you may be conservitive and wear your wiccan symbols such as a pentacle or a triple moon on a neclace or earring...but to purposely try to be so completely different ...mimicking something of fiction or something Dark and mysterious, only gives the unaware a chance to put down our spiritual path because they do associate it with "Bad"..."Evil"..."Cult"...and more.  A true pagan does not flaunt their lifestyle they just live it. 
 
Wicca is a religion that accepts magick as existant, but not all Wiccans practice magick.  Wicca isnt about magick... it's about spirituality and connecting with your view of the Divine (God & Goddess).
 
When one dates , you may have a casual conversation about your faith and not try to scare the crap out of your date  or show off by saying you have cast a spell the night before or something that purposely makes that person uncomfortable...One thing to remember is that all that we practice is for the good of all and not to ever manipulate another person...instead it is to better ourself.  Always remember that when you think of experimenting .  One thing I do ask, as your High Priestess , is that you do not do any spellweaving or such things until you have studied about it completely.  This is a very dangerous thing to do if you are not sure what you are doing but try to do magick unaware of the consequences it can have on you and all that is around you. 
 
Know that I am always here to guide you if you need it. So just ask   I am not saying  to never do anything..that would be silly of me..I am just counciling that you do know what you are doing and use wisdom in any ritual.
 
This board is for any questions you may have as there are many here as well as myself that can help you.  So with that said...I will be looking forward to your input .
 
Warmest Blessings
~ Lady Majyk ~


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 Message 2 of 2 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLadyMajykWhisperingOwlSent: 11/29/2008 7:17 PM
I thought I would add this note from a teen and the answer ..I know that this is a very common problem and I know it may help someone here...
(Used with permission)

Hi...

First of all I would like to say that I couldn't - or would want to - give up my own beliefs so that it would be more acceptable to my bf or possible bf. But lately I've been finding dating kind of hard. In the past I've gone out with a guy who was completely okay with it, but it hurts when you're just meeting someone new and they can't accept your religion. I hadn't normally taken much thought to my religion and how it would affect my social life but after a recent even I can't get it out of my mind. You see, I met this guy that I really really like but on our second date I wore my pentacle necklace and he asked me why I was wearing the "voodoo star". I explained to him that it IS NOT a voodoo star and doesn’t have anything to do with the devil either and that I didn’t even believe in the devil and so he asked me what I did believe. I told him a brief description of Wicca but he interrupted me half way through it. He said "Wicca...that’s like, what, witches?" I told him yes but not what they are made out to be in movie and TV shows. He then told me that he was Christian and wasn’t sure if he could accept it.

I know that you can't change someone's beliefs, but how can I make him understand that there is nothing wrong with my religion and there is no reason why he shouldn’t be able to accept it? And what am I going to do in future relationships? Its so hard to find a Wiccan guy that I can connect with in a emotional way, not only a religious way, or even a guy that doesn't just say he's Wiccan because he wants to seems "cool" and "mysterious" and "different". I've met too many of those ...

Thanks for any help

A Wiccan Teen

 Greetings Dear,

I know what you mean.  When I was in high school I REALLY liked this guy and he really liked me too... but he wouldnt date me because I was "into Wicca and WitchCraft" and he was a "good" Christian boy (well you know the type that wear their religion on their sleeves... well thats what he was).  We really got along and we would call each other a lot, but the relationship never happened, because of religion.  Did that upset me?  Of course... but I ended up getting over it.  Some mixed religious relationships work, but a lot of them dont.  And I know if Jimmy and I started a relationship, it probably wouldnt have lasted... and religion would be a big part of it.
 
Then I dated my high school sweetheart, Rion.  He wasnt a Wiccan or Pagan, but he wasnt a Christian either.  He was an Agnostic that was open to Paganism.  We had a great relationship that lasted two years.  But thats when I started to feel differently (and part of it had to do with religion).  Rion had proposed to me and I said yes, but I started thinking about our future.  I REALLY wanted kids and I really wanted to raise them around a Wiccan/Pagan environment.  I wanted to be with someone who could share my beliefs and customs with me and with our children.  Sure Rion was open to Paganism, but he had never done a full ritual and I just didnt see him being an active role in religion, and religion is very important to me.
 
Luckily I met my husband Gwyddion, who is also Wiccan.  Now I have a partner with me when we do rituals (which unfortunately hasnt been a lot recently...) and someone our children can see playing an active role in religion.  I do know what you mean about meeting someone who just claims to be Wiccan to sound "cool"... I thought that of my husband when I first met him.  I later realized that he was not that kind of person, but I can understand what you mean.
 
The best advise I can give is to figure out what is important to you in life and what you want in a relationship.  Can you handle a mixed religious relationship?  If you can, then thats fantastic!  All you would have to do is find someone who respects your religion as you respect theirs, which I know can be very hard.  If you dont want that kind of interreligious marriage or relationship, then finding someone can be significantly harder.  I was lucky when I found Gwyddion, but I know so many others who are not so lucky.  But what I must say is, NEVER give up your religion for someone else.  Your beliefs are not a choice.  You believe what you believe and others what they believe, and no one can change that.  Sure you could put up a mask and pretend to be someone you are not, but what kind of life is that? 
 
Be yourself.  Being yourself is a lot harder than it sounds.  It would be so much easier if we could just pretend and win the "man of your dreams" under false pretenses... but like I said, what kind of life would that be??  And anyone who does not respect you (and I mean the WHOLE you... including your spirituality)  is not someone that deserves your love and respect.  If you are yourself, it may be harder to find a relationship, but when you do, at least you will know that your mate loves you for you and respects you in your entirety.
 
I hope my words have helped you to start figuring out what you want out of a relationship and how you want to live your life!
 
Good luck!