Maybe you've heard of the developmental phenomenon called "failure to thrive." Babies who are not given enough physical contact with other humans, even if they are given everything else essential for good health, will not only be unhappy, but will actually stop growing.

For example, an orphanage was grossly understaffed and developed an epidemic in which infants simply turned their faces to the wall and died! No one could decide what was causing this phenomenon -- their basic needs were being met. However, with no real human interaction, these children were lonely. They had no reason to live.

Obviously, we need other people. We aren't meant to live life alone. But even though the social realm of our existence is good, it can be dangerous. The danger is when we go too far with it, when the interaction becomes our entire purpose, when we look to others for everything.

Other humans cannot be expected to supersede the limitations we experience ourselves.

You wouldn't think that by what we see in our culture today, however. Everywhere you look -- every song, movie and novel -- has an element of idealistic romantic relationships that seem to offer all the answers.

We have exaggerated our need for companionship to the point that we worship each other, and frankly, it's appalling.

All human beings are in the same plight. How can we expect to take each other out of it? It would be like one person in a well trying to help another person out of it. They can't really help you, and you can't really help them.

If we go into our relationships, particularly our romances, with the expectation that the other person can somehow satisfy all the inadequacies and the needs of our hearts, then we are going to be greatly disappointed.

But that's exactly what we do. "If I could only find someone, I'd be happy," we think to ourselves, as if the end all be all to existence were to find romance.

But undying romance doesn't really exist. Sure it lasts for a while, but when the "worse" in the "for better or worse" kicks in, the feelings are gone, and we "feel" nothing. But real love isn't a feeling. It's the reality of your decision to care for and love that person through thick and thin, and to put the other person's needs above your own.

So what are we looking for? Are we looking for someone, out of a selfish desire for companionship, who will finally give meaning to our existence, or are we looking for someone to love, in sickness and in health, 'til death do us part?