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Now that you have come to the knowing of the basics..you are ready for much more as a priestes of the Path of the Wise. Have you ever thought about your "Shadow Self" ? This is the deeper part of you that lies hidden . Some never meet themselves in that space because they are , most often, too afraid of that part of their being. This part of each of us is , in actuality, the negitive parts of us. These are areas that we often refuse to acknowlege so it is never faced. In this lesson, you are going to experience this and work it out. It is not somethingthat can be dealt with easily so I am giving this to you as a winter project. I would like you to journal every part ofthis journey as you bring out and actually deal with yourShadow self. We all have to do this in orderto really know ourselves thoroughly and become the best we can in serving the Goddess in the best way we can. The shadow is part of us that we’re ashamed of, that we don’t want people to know about. It’s that part of us that we hide away in the closet. The shadow is dark, it’s secretive, it’s primitive, it’s shrouded in mythology. And if we ignore the shadow, it tends to say, “Well, I’m going to embarrass you. I want you to notice me.�?/P> When you exhibit so-called positive and negative qualities, you are not flawed; you are complete. When you are comfortable with your shadow, when you embrace your shadow because this is how the infinite consciousness made you, then you are attractive beyond measure, and your life is an adventure. You are natural when you are comfortable with your ambiguity, and nothing is more beautiful than being natural. When you are comfortable with your body your strengths and weaknesses, you radiate simple, unaffected humanity. The whole of creation is contrast, tension, divine discontent. If there were only truth, goodness, harmony and beauty, the universe would expand and disappear. There has to be something to hold it back. If there were only the destructive inertial forces, then the universe would rapidly burn itself up into the heat death of absolute zero. It would collapse into a black hole and disappear. So there’s both. There’s the play between both; otherwise this world would not exist. To find your shadow energy, you have to be dedicated to a journey of descent. Think of this journey as going back to retrieve parts of your life that have been abandoned because you felt so ashamed or guilty about them. The anger that erupts from the shadow is attached to past events that were never resolved. Now those events are over and gone, but their emotional residue isn’t. Shame, guilt, and fear cannot be accessed by thinking. The shadow isn’t a region of thoughts and words. Even when you have a flash of memory and recall such emotions, you are using a part of the higher brain–the cortex–that cannot touch the shadow. The journey of descent begins only when you find the doorway to the lower brain, where experience is sorted out not according to reason but according to intense feelings. Adapted from The Book of Secrets by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 2004). Violence can be tamed by breaking the shadow side of your personality into manageable bits.
When you have been treated unjustly or personally harmed, the natural emotion is anger. If this anger can’t get out, it festers and grows in the shadow. Lashing out when holding it back no longer works; this anger leads to a cycle of violence. This is a kind of double bind: If you lash out and return the harm done to you, you have done something evil, but if you keep the anger inside and harbor it, you can feel just as evil. Yet violence can be tamed by breaking it down into manageable bits. Negative emotions feed off certain aspects of the shadow that are very manageable: The shadow is dark. Everyone has a shadow because of the natural contrast between darkness and the light. The shadow is secret. We store impulses and feelings that we wish to keep private. The shadow is dangerous. Repressed feelings have the power to convince us that they can kill us or make us go insane. The shadow is shrouded in myth. For generations, people have seen it as the lair of dragons and monsters. The shadow is irrational. Its impulses fight against reason; they are explosive and totally willful. The shadow is primitive. It is beneath the dignity of a civilized person to explore this domain, which reeks of the smell of the prison, the lunatic asylum and a public lavatory. Negativity assumes its overwhelming power from the fact that it feeds off all these qualities at once: A secret, dark, primitive, irrational, dangerous, mythical evil is much less convincing if you break it down into one quality at a time. But this process of bringing evil down to scale won’t be convincing until you apply it to yourself. No matter how free you feel from shadow energies, they exist inside you. If they didn’t, you would be in a state of total freedom, joy, and unboundedness. You would be in unity, the state of innocence regained when the hidden energy of the shadow has been purified. Shadow energies make themselves known whenever a controlled situation turns unexpectedly anxious or causes unexpected anger or dread. If you feel guilty or ashamed of yourself after you experience these, then you have touched, however briefly, on the shadow. An eruption of irrational feeling isn’t the same as releasing them. Venting is not purification. So don’t mistake an outburst for catharsis. When a shadow energy truly leaves, there is no resistance anymore, and you see something you didn’t see before. Even though your impulses may never cross the line into violence, ordinary impulses intensify in the shadow, where you can’t see them. Whenever you hear yourself sounding resentful or angry without provocation, whenever you find yourself on the verge of tears for no reason, whenever you cannot explain why you suddenly made a rash decision, you are actually feeling the effects of energy covertly building up in the shadow. The shadow has grown used to being repressed; therefore, to access this region of the mind doesn’t happen easily. Nor is direct assault effective. The shadow knows how to resist; it can slam the door and hide its dark energy even deeper. People assume that the dark side of human nature has unstoppable power; Satan has been elevated into the equivalent of a negative God. But when it is broken down, evil turns out to be a distorted response to everyday situations. Evil is born in the gap between body and mind. There is no powerful ruler of the kingdom of evil. Satan started out as a moment of sensory input that got wildly out of hand. I hope this gives you some input in how to deal with this part of you. Balance yourself and know that it is all a part of what IS. When working both Light & Shadow we are complete. We must know both sides. I would like you to explore this in all aspects and write down all the things that come to mind. Then..do the meditation I have included in this lesson. Write an indepth essay of your experiences and what you have learned in this exploration of your Shadow Self. |
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Before you begin the imagery that follows, it's important to remember that everyone does not see pictures when doing this work; inner seeing can seem more like thoughts, symbols, or spontaneously arising feeling-states. All of your senses, not just your inner eyes, are used for inner work. You may get a whole mental flash all at once concerning the meaning of a pattern or issues; a shiver may run up your spine; or your heart may fill with the feeling of sorrow, joy, or forgiveness. Some people might smell aromas or hear voices not existing in this reality. Just let come whatever wants to come, with no judgement or investment in the outcome. This process can profoundly affect your psyche. Many people think they are imaging fairly superficially at first, only to realize later that these images, symbols, and thoughts were inspired, though sometimes subtle. In practicing the imagery work that follows, you'll discover that your inner Self has a way of giving you the kinds of images and insights you will be able to recognize. The meanings you attribute to these inner experiences are yours and only yours. Universal meanings learned from books or other people's interpretations are often beside the point (and can even get in your way). Learn to trust your own interpretations. And if some outside source aids your own findings, that's good. If it doesn't, just ignore it. When you are willing to experiment with imageries, these "gifts of the spirit" will teach you without much effort on your part and greatly enhance your healing process. Suggestions for Processing Your Imagery: Take time after every imagery to ponder it. Try not to immediately begin another activity. Stay with it for awhile if something important was brought to light. When the imagery has subsided, jot down notes about what transpired - a picture, symbol, poem, thought. You might want to keep a spiritual journal. If you don't want to write you might want to engage in some kind of spontaneous ritual or movement. You might choose a physical object as a concrete symbol of the insight you gained. (Ancient Egyptians called these objects amulets, Native American's called them fetishes). Imagery work is like dreamwork, it disappears rapidly if you don't concretize it in some way. Trust your inner experience. Try not to move too quickly into an analyzing mode after such an experience. Let your intuitive, more right-brained self remain in charge for awhile. Later, however, you will want to process the imagery more fully, with intellectual insight and integration. Insights might continue to arise while actively involving in your daily life. Try and take time to write or record your insights. Now, if you feel you had no experience at all or that you were just intellectually making it all up, just let all it all be for now. Remember that any kind of "making up" is still coming from within your own mind, so it does have meaning and purpose for you, no matter how much you want to dismiss it. Anything that occurred is part of your process, even if you feel you didn't do it right. There is no such thing as failure in psycho-spiritual work. It is all "grist for the mill." Don't try to manipulate the experience in any way; just be with it as it was. If you experienced resistance, your processing would benefit from gaining insight into the nature of your resistance. Whether you realize it or not, you are exactly where you need to be in your process of awakening. Now, lets imagine our shadow for a while. This exercise will invite your shadow to expose itself to you, which is a crucial step in the healing process. Take some time now to consciously enter into a quiet space within your heart; the healing of your shadow self is a very sacred moment in time. MEETING YOUR SHADOW
Close your eyes, and begin to tune out the outside world…Allow your body to settle down…and release the tensions of the day. You can use your breath to gently enter into your body, letting go of any tightness, or discomfort you may be feeling…Softening the body…Letting go…Remember, you have a body but you are not your body only. Feel yourself surrendering to your inner Self and allow your consciousness to just float around through the inner experience that follows. Take some time now to check out your emotions. See if any re rocking around in your body anywhere. If so, just breathe your breath into these emotions until they begin to quiet…Becoming still like a lake with no ripples…Allow your emotions to settle down…A lake with no ripples can perfectly reflect the sky, just as quietened emotions can perfectly reflect your truth…Take a few balanced breaths and feel your emotions beginning to release you, becoming open and receptive to whatever spirit wants to bring forth during this experience…And remember, you have emotions, but you are not your emotions…your emotions come and go. Now, take a little time to clear your mind…See if you have any ideas or expectations floating around in your brain…If so, feel them beginning to release, leaving your mind free and clear as a beautiful blue and cloudless sky�?Feel yourself leaving this concrete reality for awhile, as though you are drifting into space…Just relax…and feel yourself deepening…a little more…and a little more�?longer pause) Now, from a deep place within your mind, envision yourself dressed as you are today sitting by yourself on a sofa in an empty room. You are quietly reflectin back over your life…all those experiences, some of them painful, that you've been through…Just allow some of these events to surface s you sit here alone on the sofa�?/FONT> The times you were terrified…lost…or alone…Or times when you've lost someone dear through separation, or death…Just let yourself be with these memories�?longer pause) Now, reflect on that part of you who just couldn't handle some of these situations–who had to go underground and be private about how you felt…Take some time to reflect on the whole quality of your childhood�?longer pause). As you sit in deep reflection, you look across the room and notice a trapdoor in the floor that you'd not seen before. It is closed. Note what the door looks like…As you look into it, you begin to hear something stirring underneath the door…And you get up and walk toward the door…Notice what you are feeling…As you go forward, you decide to put on a violet cloak that is hanging on a hook, and to light a candle to take with you…These are gifts from your Higher Self…Take some time now to put on the cloak, and to light the candle…Stay very close to your feelings as you do this �?(longer pause). Now, open the trap door and peer in �?Notice what happens �?and allow the imagery to unfold �?(longer pause). (Note: As the door is opening, yo might put on, or have someone else put on, some music without words that swells with a heartfelt melody. This enhances the experience, but is not essential.) Now, see your shadow as plainly as you can �?(longer pause). And remember, you are in charge of this experience: you can bring your shadow up into the room, or you can go down into the cellar where it lives �?If you are willing, encourage your shadow to reveal itself more fully �?(longer pause). See how it's shaped �?or dressed �?it's stance �?or attitude �?(longer pause). Now, call it by name! Have your shadow speak to you if it will, and tell you what it needs �?Attend now to what it says or shows you �?(longer pause). See if a dialogue begins between you and it; just allow this to unfold spontaneously. Perhaps you need to say something to your shadow �?Allow the two of you to relate �?and stay very close to your feelings as the images appear �?(Take plenty of time here.) Gradually, now, the images begin to fade in a mellow whitish-grey light �?Allow the scene to fade �?and as the shadow is dissipating, love it as much as you can! Feel this love in your heart–as much as you can muster �?(longer pause) �?and thank your shadow graciously for whatever it did or didn't do with you just now �?for just being who it is �?Tell your shadow goodbye �?(longer pause). Take some time now to appreciate your shadow self �?as much as you possibly can �?as you begin removing your violet cloak, taking some time to put the cloak away and blow out the candle, putting it back where you found it �?(longer pause). Now, you are back on the sofa in the empty room, dressed as your current self, alone once more �?Just remain in quiet reflection for awhile �?(longer pause). Now, slowly allow your mind to settle back into this reality, and once again become aware of your surroundings �?Take your time coming back here �?Now feel yourself fully back in your body. (Here, the guide's voice becomes stronger, more directive.) Feel your body touching your seat. Still retaining all that happened on the inner plane, feel yourself being back here fully. Make this feeling real �?/FONT> You might want to move around just a little, so you will be in touch with your body as it awakens from this experience. |
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