A toast to CR...clink...Grace ,the truth does set us free. You have no reason to wonder about her anymore. She exists....why and when and what the details are ,are irrelevant. you need no more reasons to close this door...no rationalizations necessary. She exists. She is real. He, even in his indecisiveness, has decided. You have decided for YOU however. No more him deciding what truth is. From a movie Somethings Gotta Give, Jack Nicholson says to Diane Keatons character in a self righteous and smug way, "I have always told you the truth, or at least some version of the truth, Diane Keaton , in a desperate and longing way to Jack Nicholsons character says, "Harry , there is no such thing as a version of the truth....I just dont know what to do with with with ALL THIS(running her fingers thru the air over her heart and gut)....She continues, "The life I had before you, I could DO.......I was fine...but now, but now...I dont know how to do this life.." She closed the door to the taxi...and left....
Grace, you are always here for me. I am here for you as you hit this reality head on. Whether he calls to explain or doesnt, there is nothing for you to DO with all this...except as you write, Toast to her, to them and wish them well. I am doing that today myself with something I am struggling with. Some version of the truth is not truth. I take today, this note I read from you, and all my love both past and present and will put them HONESTLY where they belong. I am a wife and a mother ..not a gf or a lover....I am onto re inventing the me I know I am. Like it or not, Stay or leave, like it or lump it....kiss my big butt, cuz I am no more living in a fairytale where I am waiting for the prince to ride up and make things better. And I dont have to explain it , rationalize it or debate it. I , with the strength I have gathered from my friends here, am moving on.......even if it is not far off this address....I am now free.......only the paperwork is left.......and that is exactly what I will tell him if infact he has anything mean to say to me....
He called me a weirdo last night when I asked him to look up a desk for me on ebay .....and he got all pissed that he had to leave his motorcycle web page....I said, and sincerely no attituded, Dont worry, I will look it up myself later if it annoys you...."YOU are a weirdo...." Why I asked, "Because I was not annoyed and you make things up to make me look bad...." Like I was hit in the head with a bat...where did this come from...and no he was not drinking...So, the weirdo went about her business, made dinner and cleaned up. He went to bed.... I breathed a sigh of relief.....Geeze, do I ever let anyone have their moment????? I am sorry it turned into a ME FEST.... But you inspire me, bring out the strength in me. And when you need some support, lean on me......
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