ONLY READ IF YOU DONT MIND A WHINER
Last night when he got home I greeted him with smiles (I was feeling like I did a good job working hard all day). I had started making dinner but then he said"I ate already"....ok, my mood started to decline.....I poured a glass of red wine and sat at the table, asked him to join me and he did. I showed him all the paperwork I did and all the good tying up of loose ends I did....I showed him the litttle note book I had written all the things I needed to do, the checks next to all the items and told him how it made me feel like I actually got something done.....he said "oh, that seems to be the fashion....that journaling thing..." I said this is not a journal this is just a book with tasks and errands....he said....smugly, oh but the counselor says that everyone could benefit from journalling..." I asked him what else she said about it and he said , " When you went to your counselor , you didnt tell me anything....So, I am not going to share anything with you now. " WTF???????? So, the night was going ok until he decided to tell me that the reason he will tell me nothing is to PUNISH ME.....I told him the only reason I didnt share with him when I was going to a counselor was because I feared judgement from him. I told him that at the time and again last night....I asked him , " Do you fear judgement from ME?" HE said no...I said so the only reason you dont want to share is to punish me....? He smugly shrugged his shoulders....He then accused me of not even appreciating the fact that he went to the counselor so that he could get a HANDLE ON ME! I used the quote from Somethings gotta give, when I said, I can take care of ME...you no longer have to think of that as your JOB.....you are off that shift now....
Things went from bad to worse rapidly. I told him to get out...GET OUT NOW...this after he said this cant go on like this....that its over, its DEAD.....I felt nothing but relief as he packed his suitcase, took ALL the appropriate PAPERWORK (which I have copies of btw) and packed the car. And then, and then, HE sat down....said we would remember this night forever....I refused to talk anymore.....AND HE FELL ASLEEP ON THE SOFA! HE DID NOT LEAVE......I went to bed LOCKED the door.....some time around midnight he used a screwdriver to open the door and crawled in next to me. END OF STORY....dear GOD....what else has to happen before he realizes that with each episode of his bad behavior I get farther and farther driven into the core of the earth......Ok, just an update...I am going to be fine....just another bump in the road....off I go to do ,,,,well, something......thanks for being patient with me....and I am sorry if I am a bummer.....