Holga,

 

I had an emotional affair (that led to a physical affair).  Neither of us were in relationships at the time, but the situation was just not right (nor realistic).

 

I am suffering the consequences of that relationship right now.  The pain of it ending hurts much like my separation from my ex (who was a cheater).

 

There is no question that I entered into the relationship at a vulnerable time.  If I had to do it all over again, I would have NEVER treaded in those waters.  I just didn't know what I was up against.

 

My suggestion to you is to cut the ties now. Use this as a learning experience, tell yourself that ties like these CANNOT have a good ending, they just can't, and they don't.

 

My experience with men, although not terrible extensive, has shown me that most men are in the relationship THEY WANT TO BE in.  If he is with his wife, that is because that is where he wants to be.  I am sure he is enjoying the ATTENTION from you.  The attention feels good to him. 

 

My experience showed me that I misread his liking the attention I gave him as him liking me.  There was no connection.  He simply liked the attention.

 

Cut ties...If he is serious about a relationship with you...he knows the proper path.  If he does not take those steps, he is not interested.  Libby