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Cinnamon Rolls
Old Mrs. Pauley tried her hand at baking cinnamon rolls for the first time.
She put them on the breakfast table, and old Mr. Pauley picked one up and took a bite. Mrs. Pauley waited for several minutes for the compliment that never came.
Finally, she asked: "How much do you think I get if I sold those cinnamon rolls commercially?"
"No more than 10 years," Pauley replied, never putting down the morning paper.
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Calling the Vet
A woman calls a veterinarian at 1 AM in the morning, frantic that her pooch has been carrying on with another dog. They are now stuck together in the yard and she wants to get them apart.
The vet, sounding a little irritated asks, "Did you try warm water?"
"Yes" said the woman, "it didn't work."
"Did you try banging pots and pans together, make a lot of noise to frighten Them apart?"
"No, but I'll try that right now, hold the line!"
A few minutes later she gets back on the phone "No, that didn't work either!"
The vet then says, "Ok, try this, after you hang up, put your phone in the window so the dogs can hear it. Then get on your cell phone and dial your number."
"Do you really think the ringing of my home phone will get them apart??"
"Well, it worked with me and my wife when you called!"
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