Shockwave #140 - 12/10/08

[ Shockwave returns from commercial focusing on Bob Fecca and Eddie Styles at ringside. Looks like they've got some news for us this evening.

Fecca: During the commercial break folks we recieved word that both Jay Styles and Simon Lee nash were found lain out backstage. Jay was found in the remains of a table and nash was found under a flatscreen monitor with the screen shattered. Both men were bleeding profusely and have been taken to area hospitals.

[ Styles shakes his head.

Styles: Those two must've really pissed in someone's cornflakes.

Fecca: Normally I'd say something about your lack of tact, but I don't know of any better way to put it.

Styles: Thank you, thank you, thank you. So what've we got next?

Fecca: Well lately fans we’ve been seeing and hearing a very opinionated Cross on the fact that Christian Michaels wanted to hang up his boots and walk away until he got his family life put back in order.

Styles: Tonight I’ve got an exclusive inside scoop and my sources tell me that CM WILL be here and WILL be making an in ring appearance to address this situation.

[ Suddenly there's a blast of pyros on the stage and "Champion In Me" by 3 Doors Down blasts over the speakers. The fans get to their feet cheering waiting for the smoke to clear. Soon the smoke does clear and there's CM…a much taller version, with his back to the crowd and arms in a Y2J-style pose. He spins round to face the fans and once they see the face of Cross those cheers become boos as the big man struts down the aisle and rolls into the ring shooting his arm up at the fans. He hands a piece of paper to Sabrina outside of the ring, we can see her saying "are you serious?" while reading it.

Sabrina: Ladies and Gentlemen, he is the Southern Heartthrob.....CROSSTIAN MIIIIICHAELS!

[ Cross wearing a long black wig and a CM shirt grabs a mic and gets center ring.

Cross: Howdy yawl.

[ Putting heavy emphasis on a Southern accent Cross continues.

Cross: Well yawl I’ve been sitting at home yawl with my horse face wife and my little baby who loves Nova more than me. And I tell yawl this, when your ol�?lady dangles your balls above your head in a jar like a trophy, well yawl, it’s left me…gutless…Yawl. Yawl, Yawl, Yawl jus�?don’t understand what it’s like to be ol�?CM. See here yawl the southern heartthrob, well, the heartthrob years are long gone. I ain’t been laid in 3 years gosh darn it!! And even if I could get it up anymore, why hell…would any of you want to hit my wife? I mean look at that thing. She’s got the face of a raped down syndrome boy.

Styles: Ho-ly sh-

Fecca: DON’T you say it.

Cross: Speaking of raped…Nova says hello.

[ Heavy o0o0o0o0o0’s from the crowd.

Fecca: THAT’S CROSSING THE LINE CROSS!!!

Styles: WHOA!!!

Cross: So I tell ya what yawl. I’ll just get down here on my yeller back like so.

[ Cross lays down on the mat flat on his back.

Cross: And anyone backstage, why hell yawl just come out here and beat me. Cause this is what Christian Michaels�?career has become yawl. Just a defeated man lying down waiting to be put out of his misery.

[ The arena goes black as "Crazy Bitch" begins to blast through the air, the tron dances to life with a variety of pictures of Rhya Michaels in various PWT circumstances.

Fecca: RHYA’S BACK!?

[ Rhya steps out from beneath the tron arm raised in the air. She stops at the edge of the stage and looks out into the crowded arena before stepping down the ramp way and making her way to the ring. As the lights come back on the screaming fans start to boo at the sight of Rebecca Rancid taking the guise of Rhya Michaels. Wearing a Rhya shirt and a red wig with what appears to be a pillow in the back of her pants.

Styles: Apparently Rebecca thinks Rhya’s a fat ass!

[ Rebecca slides into the ring and grabs the mic from Cross.

Rebecca: THAT’S IT CHRIS!!! I told you, you weren’t allowed to leave the house without my permission, now where’s your leash DOG?! HUH?! Now let me show all you people how things go in the Michaels house hold.

[ Rebecca drops down laying on top of Cross and making the three count. She stands back up.

Rebecca: In our house I’M the man and he’s the BITCH.

Cross: Is this how it’s gonna be Christian? HUH?!

[ Cross stands up quickly and throws the wig off, then rips the shirt off his body with one hand.

Cross: Are you just gonna lay down and die quietly for that bitch? You’ve lost all your dignity you worthless redneck!

[ Cross looks over at Rebecca who’s laughing.

Cross: Take off that wig and Rhya shirt, it’s tainting your beauty. There’s no horse faced whores allowed in the Four Horsemen.

[ Rebecca takes off the red wig dropping it on the mat as Cross rips her Rhya shirt in half from the neck to reveal a Four Horsemen sports bra underneath.

Cross: So since CM is too much of a chicken to come back and face his problems like a man, let me take this time to introduce you all to the fourth and final member of the Horsemen. Rebecca Rancid!! Until you get the balls to come back here like a man CM. I’ll be coming to this ring every single week and further exposing you as the fraud that you are. The CM I knew wouldn’t run away in the face of adversity. He would stand up to it, and probably take on this new group threatening his little homestead. But instead he’s hiding at home like his dominatrix of a wife wants him to. Do yourself a favor CM. Grow a set.

[ Cross drops the mic with a thud as it hit’s the mat, Edgecrusher hits as him and Rebecca leave the ring and we fade out for a commercial break.

*COMMERCIAL BREAK*