FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to
Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However,
the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.


St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to
see you. We have heard a lot about you I must tell you, though, that the
place is filling up fast, and we have been administering  an entrance
examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it
before you can get into Heaven."


Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St.
Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope
that the test ain't too hard.

Life was a big enough test as it was."


St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test
is only three questions.



First:

What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second:

How many seconds are there in a year?

Third:

What is God's first name?"


Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns
the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that
you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers"


Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days
in the week begins with the letter "T"?

Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and
Tomorrow."


The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest,
that is not what I was thinking, but you do  have a point, and I guess I
did not specify, so I will give you credit  for that answer. How about
the next one?" asked St. Peter.


"How many seconds in a year?

Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk
and thunk about

that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."


Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how
in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"


Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve:
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "


"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are
going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I
had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let
us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first
name"?

"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."


"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St
Peter.


"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers
to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up
with the name Andy as the first name of God?"


"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest
replied. "I learnt it from the song, "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS
WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."


St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run
Forrest, run."