To all of the parents who's children are still at home....ENJOY! And for
those of us without kidlets......you have to admire the creativity of
'the boy'



A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up.



Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was
addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.



Dear Dad:



It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and
you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.



But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older
than I am. But it's not only the passion . . . Dad, she's pregnant.



Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods
and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
having many more children.



Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other
people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.



In the meantime, we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I
know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to
know your grandchildren.



Love, Your Son John



PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report
card that's on top of my desk.



I love you.



Call me when it's safe to come home.