Penny,s Place

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Tell us a joke

make us laugh!

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger stands in the pouring rain.

"Can you give me a push?" he asks while hanging onto the door frame.

"Not a chance" says the husband -- "It's 3 o'clock in the morning!". He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was it?" asks his wife.

"Just some drunk wanting a push" he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I didn't -- it's three in the morning and raining like crazy out."

"Well, you have a short memory" says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down on vacation and those two strangers helped us? I think you should help him."

The man does as he is told and gets dressed and goes out into the pounding rain and calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes the answer.

"Do you still want a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!" the drunk replies.

Did you hear about the blonde who went to PC World & asked to see the curtains for putting around her PC

The assistant tried to assure her that she didn't need curtains for her computer

Blonde rolls her eyes and says "Helloooooooo its got windows hasn't it???????"

A man was walking on the beach one day and he found a bottle half buried in the sand. He decided to open it. Inside was a genie. The genie said,” I will grant you three wishes and three wishes only." The man thought about his first wish and decided, “I think I want 1 million dollars transferred to a Swiss bank account. POOF! Next he wished for a Ferrari red in color. POOF! There was the car sitting in front of him. He asked for his final wish, " I wish I was irresistible to women." POOF! He turned into a box of chocolates.

A lesson to be learned from
typing the wrong email address!!!!

A Minneapolis couple decided to
go to Florida to thaw out during a
particularly icy winter. They
planned to stay at the same hotel where
they spent their honeymoon 20
years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it
was difficult to coordinate their
travel schedules. So, the
husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida
on Thursday, with his wife
flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the
hotel. There was a computer in his room,
so he decided to send an email
to his wife.

However, he accidentally
left out one letter in her email
address, and without realizing his
error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston
, a widow had just returned home from
her husband's funeral. He was a
minister who was called home to glory
following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her
email expecting messages from relatives
and friends. After reading the
first message, she screamed and
fainted.

The widow's son rushed
into the room, found his mother on the
floor, and saw the computer
screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2005
I know you're surprised to hear
from me. They have computers here now
and you are allowed to send
emails to your loved ones. I've just
arrived and have been checked
in. I've seen that everything has been
prepared for your arrival
tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you
then!!!!
Hope your journey is as
uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is freaking hot down
here!!!!

Two peanuts walking through the woods, one got assaulted

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her
ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together
at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I
could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,'she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still
clasping his hands together at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened
his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments
and asked, 'How does that feel'?

He replied: 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.'

Important Announcement The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
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