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| | | From: Kutz (Original Message) | Sent: 2/29/2008 1:21 PM |
This motorcycle club/robbery is pretty funny. its not what you would think! Hope it works? Enjoy! Kutz  |
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Kutz! KMAA! (kiss my ancient ass!) I still walk 18 holes (par 65) twice a week- Al  (I liked your synopsis of the year to come on acus) |
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| | | From: Kutz | Sent: 12/30/2008 9:55 PM |
Oh Al-I was just teasing. Those Wie games can pull muscles! Kutz |
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| | | From: Kutz | Sent: 1/8/2009 5:32 PM |
Funny little Aussie spoof on the reserve bank! hang in until the end! kutz  |
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That's really funny! Now I understand everything!  (surprised acus didn't go down more!) Al  |
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| | | From: Kutz | Sent: 1/8/2009 7:27 PM |
11 years of clinical work was only worth a penny-should have spent more time with his family! Kutz |
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| | | From: Kutz | Sent: 1/8/2009 8:43 PM |
Here is another funny one! Those Aussies! Picking on gun-toting Americans! Kutz |
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A WHALE of A STORY........ male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan
When they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the
Same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow Out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to Turn over and sink."
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and Were swimming to the safety of shore.
The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the Female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach The shore."
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow
Him.
"Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely Refuse to swallow the seamen..
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 ..... I'm stealing that one... |
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God. that is fu*&ing >>>>GREAT! |
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| | | From: Kutz | Sent: 1/9/2009 4:33 AM |
Now thats good stuff! Great for the golf course--LOL! Kutz |
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God. that is fu*&ing >>>>GREAT! EXACTLLY..Great Stuff From the GREAT ONE>.  .PLEASE Stop..You're KILLING ME.. | |
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When A Fight Started.. D-Vegas sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.She
Asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started... D-Vegas was hinting about what she wanted for Her upcoming Birthday.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 135 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started... I felt Bad about saying that , so I asked Her, "Where do you want to go for your Birthday..? "
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about My BedRoom?"
And that's when a BAD FIGHT started In Amazment, she went into the bedroom and we Had Sex..After having sex, we smoked a cigarette while in Bed ,Finishing I turned to her and asked, "Do you want to have sex AGAIN?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then! I'd li ke to phone another Girlfriend ."
And that's when A REALLY BAD FIGHT STARTED. FrankyB.PLEASE Stop.. You're KILLING ME.. When I got home last night, my Girlfriend demanded that I take her someplace Expensive... So, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started Last Week , I took my girlfriend to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
I Answered Nah, she can order for herself."
And then a fight started |
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| | | From: Kutz | Sent: 1/9/2009 10:56 PM |
Suave guy! At least you did not get into buying vaccum cleaners!----LOL Nice diddys! Kutz  |
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Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one
recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth
was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a
head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By
then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the
top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my
wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition
was no problem.
Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my
wife, Deb , call out to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The garbage disposal
is dead again. Please come reset it." "You know where the button is," I
protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"
"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"
There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a
second." So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent
outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior
as extremely cowardly.
Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find
the button. It is the last action I remember performing
It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No,
it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It
was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she
spied hanging between my legs She had been poised around the corner and
stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I
was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and
snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to
control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of
speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in
this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from
experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and
cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.
When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not
many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen
floor butt naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all
snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying
to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.
Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in
to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me
about my head injury I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk
about,which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your
tongue?"
If they only knew!
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| | | From: Kutz | Sent: 1/10/2009 11:26 PM |
Oh man Ouch! Kutz |
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