The day finally arr ived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to
Heaven.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter
himself.
However,
the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the
gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly
good to see
you.
We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you,
though, that
the
place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an
entrance
examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have
to pass it
before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here,
St. Peter,
sir.
But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure
hope that the
test
ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but
the test is
only
three questions.
First: What two days of the week begin with the
letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He
retur ns the
next
day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now
that you have
had
a chance to think the questions over, tell me your
answers."
Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which
two days in
the
week begins with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy.
That > >>would
be
Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed,
Forrest,
that
is
not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I
guess I did
not
specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How
about the next
one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is
harder,"
replied
Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the
only answer
can
be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve?
Forrest, how in
Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a
year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve:
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.... "
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you
are going
with
this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what
I had in
mind.....but I will have to give you credit for that one,
too. Let us
go
on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's
first
name"?
"Sure," Forrest replied, "its Andy."
"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated
St Peter.
"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your
answers to
my
first two questions, but just how in the world did you come
up with
the
name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,"
Forrest replied.
"I
learnt it from the song, "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS
WITH ME, ANDY
TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . "
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run
Forrest,
run."
Give me a sense of humor, Lord.
Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,
To get some humor out of life,
and to pass it on to other folks!
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