| As household duties back up and the spouse suffering from FMS/CFS tries to take care of herself, the partner often feels overwhelmed or overloaded while trying to manage a larger chunk of daily responsibilities. Both parties tend to hide their emotions. The partner who is taking on more duties can begin to feel frustrated, disappointed, sad, or lonely. These feelings can lead to anger or resentment. Subscribe today to read the full article in the April issue. Additional information is provided below: Initiate Friendly Discussion If the partner who is ill makes a loving effort to initiate discussion and bring up the spouse’s feelings, the relationship can take a more constructive and supportive course, says Thomas Fuller, Ph.D., a psychologist in Grand Rapids, MI. “This isn’t an easy topic with an easy fix,�?Fuller says. “I think the real key is for couples to talk about issues openly and without penalty so things don’t get all bottled up.�?Also, you have to consider that while you are dealing with pain, your spouse is experiencing some losses that are different from yours. Step back and note how your spouse’s life has changed, too. �?STRONG>Don’t be defensive about your illness or the situation, and accept that your spouse’s efforts, feelings, and struggles are normal. Validate his experience. Verbally appreciate what your spouse is doing to accommodate the situation.�?Let him know you recognize how much more effort he is putting forth. Here’s how easy it could be said: “I know that you are disappointed right now. I know that you love me and are trying not to blame me for being ill. I am so lucky to have a spouse who takes care of things like you do. I am so lucky to have you. Thank you for everything.�?/FONT> Only You Know How it Feels “Open and honest communication is the best protection against the inevitable hurt and anger that can damage a relationship,�?says Connie O’Reilly, Ph.D., a psychologist in Beaverton, OR. Only you know what it feels like to be in your body on any given day. Only you can decide how much you can do. But it is important that you make a good faith effort to contribute to the household chores, even in small ways. And at the end of a day when your spouse walks in the door and you both realize you’ve not been able to do all each of you had hoped, remember that you are not responsible for anyone’s feeling but your own. Acknowledge the situation, accept that it’s okay, and remain optimistic. For example: “I realize I did not accomplish many of the tasks I had hoped today. I can understand that you may be disappointed and frustrated. So am I. I plan to go to bed early tonight and try again tomorrow.�?/FONT> | 
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