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| | From:  Smile-Mom- (Original Message) | Sent: 4/4/2007 5:33 PM |
I have this person that is becoming a close friend. :) She has a neck injury and thinks she might be getting fibro :( Anyway the problem is she was told to keep moving and excerzie. So now she has decided that I don't get out enough. How do I explain to her that taking me to the mall till I am dizzy, sweating, and more, that this is not helping me. She sees me on the couch and thinks "she needs to get out!" I go out Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesdays for group or one on one. Then the weekends are full. Even just getting up some days is too much, how do I make her understand all of this when she thinks she does understand? Thank you so much for any and every bit of input it helps me so much!!!!!!!!!! :) |
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That's a hard one, mom. Have you let her read the spoon story? |
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Yes but she well she thinks she understands it all. She doesn't seem to understand that there are so many degrees of fibro :( |
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Mom, I've been there...It's hard when someone else gets dxed, and they can do more...at first I think they think oh this isn't so bad, They have to hit the hard spots to understand. try telling her that you are glad that the exercise is working for her,..right now...and you hope that it always does. The fact remains, you have already been down that road....there was a big loop in the middle for you. you know your body and over doing will set you back days, weeks ect? even though I hardly take anything for pain or any other meds i used to, I still have to watch that I dont get too cocky, and push myself over: been there, done that. Fibro doesn't let you forget. Let her know that you have really been over doing,we can see it here Mom. You have been sick and I havent heard you mention the over the norm activities that you seem to be doing(Im not always around either), What I'm trying to say is maybe that is why you haven't been yourself lately. If that's the case, you really need to just tell her thanks, but no thanks.......I had to.. unfortunatly some of those that didnt understand, are just now getting a "Hint" a what some of have been through and some of what maybe we havent even experienced, none the less, Fibro is unique in each person... there is "NO CURE" no one treatment for all...If there was we wouldnt be having this conversation. I hope she never has to come to the point where she has to try to explain "It Doesn't Work For ME". Love you hon and take it easy. we need you to stand up for you! and us! and well be there for you Always also!! Much Love & REST "Harmony" Hope this doesnt sound bossy or hard, Its not meant to, I just love you. |
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| | | From: caren | Sent: 4/6/2007 8:39 AM |
Hugs, mom, it's hard for others to understand when they think they do |
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Now to make matters worse, she thinks one of her meds was causing the fibro problems. Now she wants me to check all of my meds. I know she is doing this out of love but I really don't want to deal with this. |
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Smile}}}}}}}}}}}}}}] How much of a friend can she be if she can not see that there are differences between fibro people. It sounds like she has just enough info to be dangerous and not enough to be empathetic/sympathetic. I would let here know that you don't need information as what you are doing is what you need to do for your fibro and any thing more could cause you to become very sick. Put yourself first!!!! Your health is more important than having a friend that doesn't or won't understand. Hang in there baby!!!!! Take care of yourself first, family second, and friends third. gero |
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I feel so sorry for you. It's wonderful to have friends, but it is so important that she understand that you know what is best for you. Don't push yourself, because you know that it can make your situation worse. |
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Thank you all I know you are right :) I am still recoving from Tuesday at the Mall :( It was so great to be out and seeing everything I just can't let a couple hours at the Mall rob me of a week. There are things that I would but not the Mall :) I agree I need to take care of me so I can be here for myself, family, and friends :) You are all the best of the best :) :) :) |
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(((((((MOMMA)))))))))) just a thought... do you think that maybe she is doing this to you because she is scared to end up like you??? is it possable that seeing hoe it has affected you that she is still in the denyal stage and is fighting herself over it.... shrugsss i donno...lol... I have a "healthy" freind that thinks I need more excercise and just doesn't understand.. but also have a loved one ( separated wife who blaims my illness for us not being together) who won't let me live everyday to it's fullest without regrets and be able to if I'm able.. go visit a freind or My mom without her... it seems to me that outsiders looking in are truely trying to help us but as we say... they have no idea untill they have walked in our shoes .. I feel if someone is offering me advice or help out of respect and complet understanding and love then I will listen to tehm and try and explain "been there done that " and even show them that I can't do it.... yeah shh I still have to push myself past the point of too much...lol but it is also nice to know that they do somewhat care about us and what we are going through even if they have no clue what so ever about what we go through... Shrugss.. is just my ramblins...lol love you momma you are the bestest... huggsss you .. Trouble AKA Gary |
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Thank you all so much :) Well an update on her, she found out that W/C will no longer accept fibro as a dx if it happens, shows up, or whatever you want to call it, much later (year or more). So now she is saying she doesn't have it but her body is rejecting the narcotics (norco, vicodine...) Her doc told her that is why she is stiff, tired, and sore, have you heard about this? I will do research but was wondering what everyone knows :) She did tell me she would kill herself if she had fibro. I am getting tired of hearing that!!!! How about you? Do you hear it too? |
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