I understand what you are saying. The fear of loosing control can be overwhelming. Here again sometimes it is mind over matter. Think of yourself as a survivor not a victim.
We do not know, never have-never will, what tomorrow is going to bring. Fearing tomorrow or the actions of others can get a strangle hold on you.
Talk to your doctors, tell them your fear and see if they are willing to work with you to have a back up plan in effect. Check out the programs out there that help with the cost of medications. Do you qualify for any? ...........Avey