Had a really good prayer time this morning.... words of resurrection of 'Laurie'.. that
she will be set free to come out of her tomb and live....like Lazaus, and like Jesus...
and I prayed... "Laurie, come forth !"
And so I started saying my name, calling to myself over and over... and as I did it sounded prettier and prettier. After a while, I didn't flinch... and I suddenly was seeing that I had recoilded in the past with my name... that it was associated with something bad... usually something negative said along with it.... getting in trouble, being griped at, put down in childhood etc... And this morning for the first time... my name Laurie started sounding really really pretty. It was even nice to my ears to hear my name.
And as I prayed and thought about things... about God creating me...I realised that just as God created the sun, flowers, and rainbows... he also created me... with the same specific attention to detail of what would be the sum-total of my design and
purpose and abilities... as he put in the flowers, trees, animals. He specifically designed me to be who I am... and when I realised that I also realised that no matter how "bad" other people have made me to feel about myself over the years.... I'm realising now that in God's eyes... I am beautiful... because I am what he WANTED me to be. He picked me to exist! And if God likes and loves me the way he created me... then I am a good thing! Through and through... rough edges and all. He put those in there inside me too... he personally designed the whole package of what makes me me, the good and the bad. Self acceptance is such a freeing state of mind to be in....
. God wanted me specifically and personally to exist on this earth. Who am I to argue with him about the value of my existence..
It's Easter weekend... it's Spring.
It's the time that says it's time to come back to life, to live, grow, sprout new things after a winter of hibernation. Time for baby chicks and birds to break out of their shell and live. Time for butterflies to break free from their cocoon. Time for buds to open and bring forth flowers. Time for seeds to break open and bring forth the good thing inside waiting to be set free to live and exist...and allowed to grow and increase and produce fruit. And that includes me. It's time to live. To be fully alive in all the ways he created inside me to be.
In all things, and for all of us..
..as one form of our life ends,
and a new one begins... And though the transition comes with some pain and heartache... the transition itself is good. Because we go to a better form of ourselves.
That is what Easter is about. New life... and an eternal life... through Jesus Christ.
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