The Great Lies of BDSM (and a few others) ...that we tell straight people: It's a fashion statement It's for a crafts project I fell off my bicycle ...that we tell each other: I've never even fantasized about doing that I just do this for fun. I don't need it Mistress, I'll do anything you want ...that we tell ourselves: I'm normal I always stop when I feel genuine anger I only play with people I respect I'm doing this for healthy reasons ...that dominant men tell submissive women: I think of women as equals I have a healty relationship with my mother I truly believe that it takes a strong woman to submit ...that submissive women tell dominant men: I don't have any unresolved issues regarding my father It's enough to serve you, Master. I don't need to get off I really want you to be in charge I love it when you ejaculate in my mouth Licking your feet and bottom really turns me on I like your pot belly You own me body and soul ...that submissive men tell dominant women: I'll do anything you want I exist only to serve you I don't care about getting off I regard women as superior beings You're beautiful to me I really get off on doing housework for you My wife knows that I do this ...that dominant women tell submissive men: I basically like men Wearing high heels makes me feel more powerful I can't top anybody who doesn't turn me on I never switch I love giving golden showers ...that we tell vanilla prospective play partners: It's not pain. It's just strong sensation This is fundamentally a nurturing activity Submission is empowering You need to explore this side of yourself ...that dominant women tell each other: I have the perfect slave I feel that you and I are part of a Sisterhood I can stay in top space while I'm "receiving" ...that submissive women tell each other: My Master takes good care of me I'm not really an exhibitionist I don't feel competitive towards other submissives It's OK with me if you play with my Master ...that dominant, heterosexual men tell each other: My slave never says no to me Some of my best friends are submissive men When I watch you play at a party, I don't secretly hope that you'll screw up and everyone will notice I can still be dominant after I've had an orgasm ...that submissive, heterosexual men tell each other: The most important thing is to serve the Mistress I never tell her what to do I've never gone to a professional Mistress I love it when my Mistress won't let me come for days I don't think my Mistress is fat I don't mind that you can take more pain than I can I really believe that my mission in life is to serve women I really like going down on my Mistress during her period ...that bi switches tell each other: I truly don't care which gender I play with I'm not at all homophobic I separate sex from SM Being bi is the best of both worlds I only play with people I feel intimate with I only play with other switches ...that professional Mistresses tell each other: Business is good I never have sex with a client Business is bad I always stick to my specialty and refer out clients who want other things I'd do this even if I wasn't getting paid I never need to bottom I'm always in control of the session I'm a good businesswoman My lover doesn't mind that I do this It was my choice to leave my last straight job ...and finally, the three great lies that vanilla people tell SM people: Hearing about this doesn't shock me I know other people who are into this We negotiate everything too