Several new viruses have been discccovered and are wreaking havoc throughout the International Internet System.
Beware of:-
THE GEORGE BUSH virus
(Causes your computer to think it won the election even though the mother-board and father-board bought it)
THE AL GORE virus
(Causes your computer to just keep counting)
THE CLINTON virus
(Gives you a 7-inch hard drive with NO memory)
THE BOB DOLE virus (AKA - VIAGRA)
(Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy)
THE LEWINKSY virus
(Suck all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did)
THE RONALD REAGAN virus
(Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored)
THE JESSE JACKSON virus
(Warns you constantly about illegitimate file reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing in the background)
THE MIKE TYSON virus
(Quits after two bytes)
THE OPRAH WINFREY virus
(Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200mb)
THE PROZAC virus
(Totally screw up your RAM but your processor doesn't mind)
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENNEGAR virus
(Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back)
and last but not least
THE LORENA BOBBITT virus
(Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5inch floppy, then discards it through Windows)