Get Ready for Yule! Day 4:

Day 4: Coping With the Season

from Patti Wigington

Yule is supposed to be a time of great joy and celebration, but let's face it -- sometimes, it's just the opposite. We tend to get frustrated with the whole experience of shopping, spending money, dealing with family members... and it can turn a happy time into a period of anger and anxiety. Today, let's look at some ways you can help keep that negativity in check, and instead have a happy and healthy Yule season.

Have a Low-Stress Yule

It's time to take a moment and think about yourself at the holidays. Remember the joy you felt at this time of year when you were a child? You can recapture that if you learn to keep your stress levels manageable. Here are some tips on how to help relieve holiday stress -- as well as how to know you're on the verge of burnout!

Dealing With Stress at Yule

It should be the happiest time of year, right? After all, the Yule season is when we celebrate the return of the sun, and the days start to get a little brighter. The mundane world is observing Christmas and Hanukah, gifts are being given all over the place -- it should be a season of great joy. Yet for many people, late fall and early winter are a time when frustrations begin to build, and anxiety (and often depression) set in. Between getting together with family, preparing big meals, shopping for gifts, decorating the house, and spending money on others, for many people Yule can be a time of overwhelming stress. Here are a few tips on reducing your stress levels during the Yule season.

Set your limits.

Are you in charge of the community coat drive, the local toy roundup, and getting your entire PTO's fundraiser up and running? Step back! Be willing to say "No" when someone asks you to commit more time and energy than you have to give. We all want to help others at this time of year, but if you take on more than you really are capable of, you'll become resentful and angry - and that's no way to spend the Yule season. Learning to say "No" might be the best gift you can give yourself this year.

Enlist help.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the eighteen boxes of Yule décor in your basement? Fine -- put the kids to work. If you don't have kids -- or if yours are too young to decorate -- put on a pot of wassail and invite a few friends over for a decorating party. It will take the stress out of the situation if you're surrounded by people whose company you enjoy. Likewise, if you're hosting a holiday dinner, ask others to show up early to set the table or to bring part of the meal as a side dish. I've learned that if I plan ahead, and just ask, I can usually get someone else to commit to taking care of cleanup afterwards!

Don't overspend.

One of the biggest holiday stress-outs is the knowledge that you'll be paying off Yule until June. Don't let this happen. Make a budget, and stick to it. For more on how to do this, read about How to Have a Budget Friendly Yule. Also remember, you don't have to go crazy with the gifts. Do you want to teach your children about the value of the holiday season, or that whoever gets more stuff wins? In many families, parents have learned to limit the number of gifts each person gets -- in mine, each kid gets one really big gift, and then three smaller gifts such as a DVD, a pair of cute winter pajamas, and a game to play or a book to read.

Set boundaries.

A lot of people stress out over family relationships during the holidays. If you're one of those people, you need to decide ahead of time how you're going to deal with family members who aggravate you. Got a non-Pagan family member who just won't leave you alone? Brush up on coping strategies at Surivivng the Holidays with Your Non-Pagan Family.

Decompress.

When you're feeling overwhelmed in the middle of the season, and you know you still have things that need to get done, take a break. Turn off the phone, shut the door, and go have some Me Time. Take a one-hour power nap, enjoy a bubble bath with some nice scented candles, invite a friend out for a quick coffee date. Set aside a few minutes each day to meditate and get yourself grounded. You'll appreciate it in the long run.

Recognize burnout.

A big problem many people seem to have is they just fail to realize they're burning themselves out. Stress creeps up on us, and then we tend to justify it by saying, "Well, it's the holidays." Learn to recognize the signs of burnout, and react accordingly. Some signs include:

• Depleted levels of physical energy
• Lowered immune system, feeling run-down or ill
• Lack of interest in things that you normally enjoy
• Decreased sex drive
• Negative, pessimistic outlook
• Anger directed at people who don't deserve it, like kids and sales clerks

If you start seeing these behaviors in yourself, it's time to take a step back and recognize that you're stressing out. Now that you've discovered the problem, take time to fix it, so that you and the people around you can have a happy and healthy Yule season.

Celebrate Yule on a Budget

With the economy the way it is, it's no surprise that one of the biggest worries people have at Yule is about their finances. Believe it or not, if you learn to focus on the meaning of the season rather than the material things you get (or give!), it becomes a lot easier to manage your money at Yule. Here are some ideas on how to have a happy Yule season without breaking your bank account.

Figure out how much you're going to spend on gifts for others, and for your family. If cash is tight, think about making gifts instead of buying them. Also, pare down the gift list -- is there someone you constantly buy a gift for that you really don't want or need to? Ask them if it's okay to skip the exchange this year. They'll probably be as relieved as you are.

Your Non-Pagan Family

In some families, the holiday get-together is something we look forward to. In fact, it may be the only time you even see some members of your family. However, if you're a Pagan or Wiccan, and the rest of them aren't, there are times when the winter holidays can be a bit awkward. So what can you do to make the season's celebrations a bit more harmonious?

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