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| | | From: Susan (Original Message) | Sent: 11/16/2001 11:19 PM |
the somonka is a type of duet-like verse using the 575-77 tanka form. this is one of the earliest forms of renga (linked verse) -- pre-haiku period. the first tanka is composed by one person, the second by another. it is very much like posing a question and receiving an answer. the following is an example. please note that in translation, the syllables cannot be exact: A Poem Sent by Prince Otsu to Lady Ishikawa Waiting for you, in the dripping dew of the hill I stood,--weary and wet with the dripping dew of the hill. A Poem Composed by Lady Ishikawa in Response Would I had been, beloved, the dripping dew of the hill That wetted you while for me you waited. ~Manyo period (circa 759 A.D.) I will start with a tanka. Add your own tanka to this thread.... let's renga party. susan-san
Inside the bottle
bamboo sticks paint the image;
you need steady hands.
We must learn to have patience
until the mountains turn green. ~susan |
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| | | From: gmc | Sent: 11/17/2001 8:22 AM |
inclined mobius two pant the attraction pre brush beings into wait as before wanted more |
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| | | From: ivy | Sent: 11/18/2001 5:18 PM |
Clouds are very still; they are lovers' arms and rest in the starlit sky. By morning they've gone away, wind will roll them back again. |
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these pictures lost me as my eyes dimmed with moisture wishing it were rain when it is pain of lost love unseen, painted, in bottle {dw} |
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| | | From: suze | Sent: 11/21/2001 1:06 AM |
Inside the bottle
bamboo sticks paint the image;
you need steady hands. We must learn to have patience
until the mountains turn green. ~susan ******* inclined mobius two pant the attraction pre brush beings into wait as before wanted more ~gmc
*******
Clouds are very still; they are lovers' arms and rest in the starlit sky. By morning they've gone away, wind will roll them back again. ~ivy
*******
these pictures lost me as my eyes dimmed with moisture wishing it were rain when it is pain of lost love unseen, painted, in bottle ~darkwind
*******
those rough earthern cups
from the mountains of Hanoi
hold bitter green tea that wafts in cracked celadon, painted and etched in lost words ~susan |
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Alone I stand in solitude, wanting and waiting for a lovers embrace,
INstead of the ttears of joy I fell upon their arrrival,
the only moisture upon my face is the moisture of the air... |
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Reply
| | | From: suze | Sent: 11/22/2001 1:01 AM |
 oh patrick.read the opening message. put this in tanka form: haiku lines, 575=17syllables + two lines of 7syllables each. or thereabouts. i will get to your link a.s.a.p. really. i have not forgotten. but foist, ya gotta revise this here poem. suze  |
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Inside the bottle
bamboo sticks paint the image;
you need steady hands.
We must learn to have patience
until the mountains turn green. ~susan
*******
inclined mobius
two pant the attraction pre
brush beings into
wait as before wanted more ~gmc
*******
Clouds are very still;
they are lovers' arms and rest
in the starlit sky.
By morning they've gone away,
wind will roll them back again. ~ivy
*******
these pictures lost me
as my eyes dimmed with moisture
wishing it were rain
when it is pain of lost love
unseen, painted, in bottle ~darkwind
*******
those rough earthern cups
from the mountains of Hanoi
hold bitter green tea
that wafts in cracked celadon,
painted and etched in lost words ~susan
********
green mountains, green tea
butterfly lights on the cup
blinking its wing-eyes
dusting the painted bottle
with memories of my love ~darkwind
********
_________________________________________________________________
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Reply
| | | From: helen | Sent: 11/23/2001 8:35 PM |
Inside the bottle
bamboo sticks paint the image;
you need steady hands.
We must learn to have patience
until the mountains turn green. ~susan
*******
inclined mobius
two pant the attraction pre
brush beings into
wait as before wanted more ~gmc
*******
Clouds are very still;
they are lovers' arms and rest
in the starlit sky.
By morning they've gone away,
wind will roll them back again. ~ivy
*******
these pictures lost me
as my eyes dimmed with moisture
wishing it were rain
when it is pain of lost love
unseen, painted, in bottle ~darkwind
*******
those rough earthern cups
from the mountains of Hanoi
hold bitter green tea
that wafts in cracked celadon,
painted and etched in lost words ~susan
********
green mountains, green tea
butterfly lights on the cup
blinking its wing-eyes
dusting the painted bottle
with memories of my love ~darkwind
******** | the porcelain shards
cut the bottoms of my feet
this cup is broken the warm blood mixes with tea
i will not drink without you ~~~dw |
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Reply
| | | From: suze | Sent: 11/24/2001 7:04 AM |
Inside the bottle
bamboo sticks paint the image;
you need steady hands.
We must learn to have patience
until the mountains turn green. ~susan
*******
inclined mobius
two pant the attraction pre
brush beings into
wait as before wanted more ~gmc
*******
Clouds are very still;
they are lovers' arms and rest
in the starlit sky.
By morning they've gone away,
wind will roll them back again. ~ivy
*******
these pictures lost me
as my eyes dimmed with moisture
wishing it were rain
when it is pain of lost love
unseen, painted, in bottle ~darkwind
*******
those rough earthern cups
from the mountains of Hanoi
hold bitter green tea
that wafts in cracked celadon,
painted and etched in lost words ~susan
********
green mountains, green tea
butterfly lights on the cup
blinking its wing-eyes
dusting the painted bottle
with memories of my love ~darkwind
******** the porcelain shards
cut the bottoms of my feet
this cup is broken the warm blood mixes with tea
i will not drink without you ~~~dw *******
in Nepal, the bark
of the Lokta tree heals wounds --
that is what is said..
but words, etched in the heart's book,
surpass nature's remedies. ~susan ******* |
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