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General : Limerick Stew I
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Message 1 of 25 in Discussion

From: _susan_ (Original Message)

Sent: 9/10/2008 5:47 AM

There once was a lad from Connecticut

Who wanted to bypass some netiquette

He wound up in jail

Then could not post bail

So Club Fed detained him at Joliette.

(not as good as the ever prolific limerick specialist, Don "old army bear" Tyson, but sharpening my skills in advance for Natl Poetry Month 2009. never too early to start training for the Limerick Olympics.)

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Previous 11-25 of 25 Next Last

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Message 11 of 25 in Discussion

From:

Grayling55

Sent: 9/11/2008 12:36 PM

Well

It might all be about me

I've found there are words I won't say
no matter the time or the day
the first, cafetorium
and next, there's effluvium
won't say them, no how and no way

gray

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Message 12 of 25 in Discussion

From:

BranchyPete

Sent: 9/12/2008 12:17 PM

There once was a bloke from Darjeeling

Who liked to ejaculate all over his ceiling

It'd dribble back down on his head

and curdle all over his bed.

That disgusting chap from Darjeeling.

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Message 13 of 25 in Discussion

From: _susan_

Sent: 9/13/2008 6:51 AM

grayling!
you were the one who felt that certain (what should we call them) oh yes, Poems!

were about you. right?

branchy--i think you got the er hang of it.

when i was a kid, i liked superman comics.
piper, i think i might change your nik to 'superbot!'
it's a bird, it's a plane, no----it's superbot!
:(

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Message 14 of 25 in Discussion

From: _susan_

Sent: 9/13/2008 6:53 AM

oh gypsy.

i liked yours-the original rhythm/beat for limerick oysters.

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Message 15 of 25 in Discussion

From:

Grayling55

Sent: 9/13/2008 1:36 PM

A hurricane batters the shore
as people all shout, "No, no more!"
What a blowhard, a harridan,
would you please send her home again;
Could someone show Sarah the door?

This isn't about me.

gray

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Message 16 of 25 in Discussion

From: gypsy

Sent: 9/21/2008 2:00 AM

There once was a sister called Babble

who lost all her green playing scrabble;

So she left her old man

just to sit by a fan

who'd play with her nipples and squabble.

gypsy

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Message 17 of 25 in Discussion

From: _susan_

Sent: 9/21/2008 4:59 AM

There once was this meatball from England

Who wrote with his bollicks in one hand

While his left played 'em silly

His right jerked off willy--

A tinier spurt than a grain of sand.

__________________________________________________

ack! the rhythm may be off but - hey - just a load of bollicks!

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Message 18 of 25 in Discussion

From:

BranchyPete

Sent: 9/21/2008 2:19 PM

Hahaha

There once was a chap from Sri Lanka

Who seemed like a bit of a w*nker.

You'd hear the flicking and rustling of pages

And a glonking that went on for ages.

That fast handed man from Sri Lanka.

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Message 19 of 25 in Discussion

From:

1oldarmybear

Sent: 9/23/2008 4:17 AM

Tater

There once was a rube they called Tater
He became a great masturbater
Along came a gal name of Mabel
Who sat her bum up on the table
But it wasn't Tater that ate her

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Message 20 of 25 in Discussion

From:

1oldarmybear

Sent: 9/24/2008 11:40 PM

Tater (Revised)

There once was a rube they called Tater
He became a great masturbater
When a gal name of Mabel
Put her butt on the table
He changed his name to Gladiator

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Message 21 of 25 in Discussion

From: _susan_

Sent: 9/25/2008 5:03 AM

Mabel Mabel get off the table

The two bucks is for the beer (or something like that)

my husband loved to recite that to me. he did it so often that i stopped listening,

ergo, i forgot the um, lyrics.

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Message 22 of 25 in Discussion

From:

Grayling55

Sent: 9/25/2008 12:15 PM

Mabel

by Procol Harum (I was surprised to find)

Don't eat green meat it ain't good for you
you know it killed your brother, killed your sister too
even fresh fried chicken on new-mown sand
can't beat red beans eaten outa your hand

Oh Mabel, Mabel! You know I love you gal but I'm not able
Mabel, oh Mabel, please get off the kitchen table

Don't slice no onions, don't peel no grape
dream about banana slice nor sniff around short cake
and if on a winter's day you find your sundial's wrong
you'll know the weather is what's brought it on

Oh Mabel, Mabel! You know I love you gal but I'm not able
Mabel, oh Mabel, please get off the kitchen table

Put the peas in the pot, put the pot on the hot
In the cellar lies my wife, in my wife there's a knife
so tote that hammer, lift that pick
and banish inhibition with a pogo stick

Oh Mabel, Mabel! You know I love you gal but I'm not able
Mabel, oh Mabel, please get off the kitchen table

And bear, your second version certainly makes more sense, but I find it gives me a bit of indigestion.

gray

0 recommendations

Message 23 of 25 in Discussion

Sent: 9/27/2008 7:21 AM

This message has been deleted by the author.

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Message 24 of 25 in Discussion

From: gmatter

Sent: 9/27/2008 7:57 AM

once an hombre from mantobia
met she whos aim was diana-meter
nexus they duet, and clash hence
cruciform
exit

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Message 25 of 25 in Discussion

From:

mediawatch880

Sent: 10/12/2008 9:31 AM

On the breast of a barmaid from Sale
was tattoed the price of an ale
on her ample behind
for the help of the blind
was the identical information in braille

from deep in my memory

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