Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

You will make some new friends today. One of them will be on some sort of "sacred quest", which will make a good ice-breaker. ("So...what's with the coconuts?")

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

You will make some new friends today. One of them will be on some sort of "sacred quest", which will make a good ice-breaker. ("So...what's with the coconuts?")

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Your relationship is reaching the point where you may as well discuss the Big Question - there's no point in going further if you don't see eye to eye on that. By Big Question I'm referring to "crunchy" versus "creamy", of course. Why, what did you think I meant?

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

You will watch a lot of TV today. But that's ok, if that's really what you want.

 

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

You will join a team, and have lots of fun. I'm not sure what sport it is, but the team name will be "The Screaming Weasels".

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Today you will flip a coin 4 times, and it will come up "heads", "tails", "heads", "heads". Then someone will come up and say "hey, whatcha doing?" Then the phone will ring. Just a coincidence, though, in this case.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

A man with a large nose will attack you with a sword today, while composing free verse in archaic French. Luckily, he'll get stuck trying to come up with a word that rhymes with "l'orange", and you'll have time to slip out the back way.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Today you will flip a coin 4 times, and it will come up "heads", "tails", "heads", "heads". Then someone will come up and say "hey, whatcha doing?" Then the phone will ring. Just a coincidence, though, in this case.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Today you will have a sudden, somewhat irrational desire to drive to Camden, New Jersey, and visit the Soup Tureen Museum. Fortunately, you will restrain yourself.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

You will be forced to re-evaluate your boss' IQ, when you discover that he is looking forward to the release of "Titanic II".

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

You've always felt, like Emerson, that the unexaminged life is not worth living. There's no need to use a microscope, however.

 

examinged??? cool

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

You will soon accidentally discover why it is that so many things "taste like chicken". It's because they ARE chickens, in clever disguises.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

You will accidentally overhear scientists telling each other jokes. Surprisingly, the one that starts "So, a bilaterally symmetrical eumetazoan walks into a bar" will be really funny. (I won't spoil it for you here.)