Voor de vrienden van de RMT

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For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason:

I'm tired because I'm overworked!

The population of this country is 237 million.

104 million are retired.

That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school,
which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed
by the federal government,
leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the Armed Forces,
which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people
who work for State and City Governments
and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals,
leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just 2 people to do the work.

You and Me.

And you are sitting at your computer reading jokes...

No Wonder Why...

Customer Service Rep: Yes, Ma'am, how can I help you today?

Customer: Well, after much consideration,
I've decided to install love. Can you
guide me through the process?

CS Rep: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think
I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?

CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART.
Have you located your HEART ma'am?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other programs
running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?

Customer: Let's see, I have
PAST-HURT.EXE,
LOW-ESTEEM.EXE,
GRUDGE.EXE,
and RESENTMENT.COM
running right now.

CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE
from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent
memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will
eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own
called HIGH- ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn
off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent
LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until
GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM
have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started
installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

CS Rep: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will
reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other Heart's in order to
get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?

CS Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says
"ERROR 412 -
PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS."
What does that mean?

CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that
the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not
yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated
programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have
to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

CS Rep: Can you pull down the directory called
"SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

CS Rep: Excellent. You're getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files
and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory:
FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT,
and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC.
The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching
any programming. Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITIC.EXE from
all directories, and to make sure it is completely gone and never
comes back, you will need to empty your recycle bin.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files.
SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows
that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying
themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?

CS Rep: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually
everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is
installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here.
One more thing before I go.

Customer: Yes?

CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules
to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people
and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?

CS Rep: You can call me the Divine Cardiologist,
also known as The Great Physician.
Most people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay
heart-healthy, but the manufacturer suggests a schedule
of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth
quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater
and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble,
it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

I've heard it said, "Don't go to bed
While hanging on to sorrow.
You may not have the chance to laugh
With those you love tomorrow."
You may not mean the words you speak
When anger takes its toll.
You may regret your actions
Once you've lost your self control.

When you've lost your temper
And you've said some hurtful things,
Think about the heartache
That your action sometimes brings.
You'll never get those moments back,
Such precious time to waste,
And all because of things you said
In anger and in haste.

So if you're loving someone
And your pride has settled in,
You may not ever have the chance
To say to them again,
"I love you and I miss you
And although we don't agree,
I'll try to see your point of view,
Please do the same for me."

Some people don't know
how important it is that they exist.
Some people don't know
how good it is just to see them.

Some people don't know
how comforting their smile is.
Some people don't know
how good it feels to be near them.

Some people don't know
how much poorer we would be without them.
Some people don't know
that they are like Heaven's gift to us.

They would know if we told them...
Like I'm telling you!

THANKS FOR BEING
SOMEONE SPECIAL

Important Announcement The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
Voor de vrienden van de RMT	[email protected]