#10 Insists a bag of Doritos is necessary for doing crunches. #9 Has designed a resistance machine to train your "love muscle."
#8 His IM alias: PastramiKing
#7 The skinny bastard can't seem to compliment your progress without adding "... for a fat guy."
#6 "What say you cut this set short and help me polish off this box of jelly-filleds?"
#5 His stamina training involves you jogging to the package store and toting back a case of Zima.
#4 He uses a cheeseburger as a bookmark in the training manual.
#3 Makes a beeping noise like a truck backing up every time you walk across the room.
#2 Gets winded unwrapping his cigarettes.
and the Number 1 Sign You've Hired the Wrong Fitness Coach...
Today's workout: You push him and his out-of-gas car around town so he can run errands.