The Best Guacamole in the World:

Ingredients:
5 ripe avocados (avocados should be slightly soft but firm to the touch, not mushy)
2 Green onions
1/4 cup finely chopped cilantro
2 vine-ripened tomatoes (the redder the better)
2 limes
Sea salt
Freshly ground black pepper

Process:

Halve each of the avocados and remove the pits. Score the "meat" of the avocados lengthwise and crosswise with a knife (but don't pierce the skin from the inside) so that when you scoop out the insides with a spoon, the meat comes out in 1/2 inch chunks. Put chunks of avocado into a large mixing bowl.

Cut off the roots of the green onions.  Mince the green onions finely until you get about two inches into the dark green section of the onion. Add the chopped green onion to the bowl, along with the finely chopped cilantro.

Cut the tomatoes into 1/2 inch chunks and add to the bowl, including all seeds and slush from inside the tomatoes.

Halve the two limes and use a lime squeezer to squeeze 1 1/2 limes worth of juice into the bowl. If you are not using a lime squeezer or other juicing mechanism (in other words, if you're squeezing them with your hands), then go ahead and squeeze all of both limes in there to make sure you get enough lime juice. Use medium sized limes so that you don't wind up with too much juice.

Add finely ground sea salt (kosher salt is also ok) and freshly ground black pepper to taste. For the pepper, I use about ten twists of the pepper mill across the top of the bowl (maybe 1/2 teaspoon). For the salt, I like to shake the shaker for about ten seconds into the bowl, so figure 1 full tablespoon, well distributed. Then mix the ingredients with your freshly washed hand, trying hard not to mash up the avocado (you want it to stay relatively chunky). Add a few more shakes of salt after mixing the first time. Check the salt level by tasting each time. Guacamole can take a lot of salt, so add a little bit at a time until you get the saltiness where you want it. Don't overmix or you'll crush up the avocado chunks and wind up with mushy guacamole (which is fine, but doesn't taste as good as the chunkier stuff).

The key to this recipe is only to use the freshest ingredients when they are perfectly ripe, but not overly so.

 

Do not add any mayonaise to this recipe or you will rot in guacamole hell. 

 

If you like hot guacamole, you can mince half a jalepeno pepper and add that to the mix.  I don't recommend it though, as it changes the taste dramatically.  It's better to just make salsa separately and scoop up some guac with a chip and then use that guac-covered chip to scoop up some salsa.