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Grief and Nostalgia

With Fall comes "gathering in, stocking up, mingled with a sense of loss as the light begins to fade and the air chills," (Between Heaven and Earth, p.205). Grief is, of course, quite natural and appropriate in many situations. But excessive and/or long-term grief can harm the Lung system (a group of correspondences including but not limited to the actual biomedical lungs), and likewise, people with Metal or Lung problems can be frequent grievers, criers. And let's not forget that more positive form of grief... nostalgia, tends to occur more in the 'Fall' of our lives.

Strengthening the immune system should be a part of any seasonal ritual! Any tonic formula that strengthens the lungs, nourishes the Qi and moistens the skin is appropriate. Remember, the best form of medicine, is preventative. Consider Andrew's great Fall Tonic Tea.

Grief

Grief is a normal and natural response to loss. Though we often expect to grieve the death of a family member or friend, many other significant losses can also trigger grief.

Examples include:
*The end of a relationship
*A move to a new community
*A much-anticipated opportunity or life goal is suddenly closed to us
*The death of a pet

Someone we love contracts a potentially life-threatening illness Grieving such losses is important because it allows us to 'free-up' energy that is bound to the lost person, object, or experience --so that we might re-invest that energy elsewhere. Until we grieve effectively we are likely to find reinvesting difficult; a part of us remains tied to the past. Grieving is not forgetting. Nor is it drowning in tears. Healthy grieving results in an ability to remember the importance of our loss -- but with a new-found sense of peace, rather than searing pain.

No two people are likely to experience grief in the same way. The way we think and feel, the way our body functions, and the way we interact with others may all be affected. Some of the more common experiences include:

*Difficulty concentrating
*Apathy
*Anger -- at those responsible, at the deceased, at ourselves, at
God, at any handy target
*Guilt -- "If only I had done . . ."
*Sleep disturbances
*Loss of appetite
*Withdrawal from others
*Irritability
*Intense sadness or tears when a memory is triggered
*Numbness
*Loneliness, or a sense of separateness from others
*Loss of life's meaning

Sometimes our reactions are so changeable, intense, or irrational that we fear we may be going crazy. Often grieving people are afraid to confront their grief for fear that if they open the door they will be drowned in a flood of tears or rage. Though this is very unlikely, allowing others to help us in our grieving is good 'insurance' that we will keep our balance. No matter what our intense experiences of grief may be they are temporary. There IS life after grief -- if we acknowledge and work through our reactions, rather than trying to stop them.

Fortunately, much of the process of healthy grieving seems to be 'built into' our genes. Acknowledging and growing from losses is such a natural process that much of it will happen without our direction -- if we relax our expectations of how we "should" grieve and give up some of our need to be in control. But healthy grieving is an active process; it is NOT true that, "You just need to give it time." One way of understanding the work to be done is to think of grieving as a series of tasks we need to complete (not necessarily in sequence):

*To accept the finality of the loss;
*To acknowledge and express the full range of feelings we experience
as a result of the loss;
*To adjust to a life in which the lost person, object, or experience
is absent;
*To 'say good-bye,' to ritualize our movement to a new peace with the
loss. Good friends, family members, or a personal counselor can all
be helpful in doing this vital work. You can also do a good deal to
help yourself.

Active, healthy grieving requires balance -- balancing the time you spend directly working on your grief with the time you spend coping with your day-to-day life; balancing the amount of time you spend with others with the time you spend along; balancing seeking help from others with caring for yourself.

Focusing too strongly on any single side of these pairings is getting off-track. Here are some things others have found useful in their healthy grieving. Choose the ones that fit for you, or make up your own methods of self-care. Remember that grieving is an active process, it takes energy that will likely have to be temporarily withdrawn from the usual pursuits of your life. Treat yourself with the same care, tolerance, and affection you would extend to a valued friend in a similar situation.

*Go gently -- take whatever time it needs, rather than giving yourself a deadline for when you should be "over it";
*Expect and accept some reduction in your usual efficiency and consistency;
*Try to avoid taking on new responsibilities or making major life decisions for a time;
*Talk regularly about your grief and your memories with someone you trust;
*Accept help and support when offered;
*Be particularly attentive to maintaining healthy eating and sleeping patterns;
*Exercise moderately and regularly;
*Keep a journal;
*Read -- there are many helpful books on grief; some are listed
below. If grief is understood it is easier to handle;
*Plan, and allow yourself to enjoy without guilt, some GOOD TIMES.
*The goal is balance, not martyrdom;
*Carry or wear a linking object -- a keepsake that symbolically reminds you of your loss.
*Anticipate the time in the future when you no longer need to carry this reminder and gently let it go;
*Tell those around you what helps you and what doesn't. Most people would like to help if they knew how;
*Take warm, leisurely baths;
*See a grief counselor;
*Get a massage regularly;
*Set aside a specific private time daily to remember and experience whatever feelings arise with the memories;
*Choose your entertainment carefully -- some movies, TV shows, or books can only over-intensify already strong feelings;
*Join a support group -- there are hundreds of such groups and people have a wonderful capacity to help each other;
*Plan for 'special days' such as holidays or anniversaries. Feelings can be particularly intense at these times;
*Pray;
*Take a yoga class;
*Connect on the Internet. There are many resources for people in grief, as well as opportunities to chat with fellow grievers;
*Vent your anger in healthy ways, rather than holding it in. A brisk walk or a game of tennis can help;
*Speak to a member of the clergy;
*Plant yourself in nature;
*Do something to help someone else;
*Write down your lessons. Healthy grieving will have much to teach you.

De-Cluttering, Cleansing and Feng Shui

1. Cleansing the Body

This is one of three processes that should be done 4 times a year. Using the seasons as a guide, allows us to work with the "flow of nature" and change as our bodies change. Consider a healthy detox or work with the power of an herbal cleanser.
Here is a nice Detoxification Bath to get you started:


Detoxification Bath
2 Cups Sea Salt
2 Cups Baking Soda
4 Tbsp. Ginger Powder
Place all ingredients in a hot bath and bathe for 20 Minutes
Drink plenty of water. This bath withdraws impurities from your body
and helps you to feel better. This bath can be done
2 to 3 times in a week or as needed.


Psyllium is a bulk-forming laxative and is high in both fiber and mucilage. Psyllium seeds contain 10-30% mucilage. The laxative properties of psyllium are due to the swelling of the husk when it comes in contact with water. This forms a gelatinous mass and keeps the feces hydrated and soft. The resulting bulk stimulates a reflex contraction of the walls of the bowel, followed by emptying.

De-cluttering the space around you can make all the difference in the way you feel. Start small. Try organizing a drawer or desk, your closet or one room in your house, first. Then move on to a bigger project. Learn the secrets to de-cluttering and re-organizing your life with the proponents of Feng Shui

2. Cleansing the Mind

This is the 2nd in the trilogy. Learn how to think in "affirmations" that are positive! These are statements that you make either aloud or to yourself. Always approve and accept yourself. You cannot love yourself unless you first, approve of and accept yourself.

A disciplined mind is a free mind. Gain control over your thoughts and you maintain control over your life. Retrain your mind and you regain your freedom. Calming the mind is a behavioral technique used to interrupt, minimize and eliminate "psychological noise". Obsessive, repetitive thoughts, anxiety and fears are all apart of negative, self-destructive patterns that can benefit from the positive affirmations and mind quieting.


"Love Thy Self"
I am perfect, whole and complete NOW, the way I am.
I deserve all that I require.
I am worthy, loveable and strong.

3. Cleansing the Spirit

This is a life long lesson and third in the trilogy. Utilize the strength of yoga therapy. What is your belief system ? Does it serve you well? How about discovering some great meditations !
The Sun Salutation in yoga is a great wakening and cleansing exercise. This is a flowing combination of some of the asanas in hatha yoga.

Sun Salutation
Stand in Tadasana, take a deep breath, clasp thumbs in front of you
and raise arms in front of you over head. Arch back from the waist.
Now, fold over at the waist as you exhale, placing palms on the
floor, Uttanasana, step your right leg back into Lunge, step your
left leg back to Plank, come into Bhujangasana, flow into Adho Mukha
Svanasana, step your right foot forward to Lunge, left foot forward
for Uttanasana, inhale up to Tadasana. Repeat, stepping your left leg
back into Lunge.


Cleansing Meditation

Breath is life! Exchange of electrons. Flow of energy. Air is the
primary nutrient. Survival without it is measured in minutes. It is
so important that you do it without thinking. Your breathing is the
voice of your spirit. It's depth, smoothness, sound, and rate reflect
your mood. If you become aware of your breath and breathe the way you
do when you are calm you will become calm. Practicing regular,
mindful breathing can be calming and energizing. With the addition of
music and it's rhythm, the "musical breath" can even help stress-
related health problems ranging from panic attacks to digestive
disorders. Fall into the rhythm of the music and breathe. Focus on
your breathing and the music.

Focusing on the breath is one of the most common and fundamental
techniques for accessing the meditative state. Breath is a deep
rhythm of the body that connects us intimately with the world around
us.
Close your eyes, breathe deeply and regularly, and observe your
breath as it flows in and out of your body. Give your full attention
to the breath as it comes in, and full attention to the breath as it
goes out. Whenever you find your attention wandering away from your
breath, gently pull it back to the rising and falling of the breath.
Inhale through your nose slowly and deeply, feeling the lower chest
and abdomen inflate like a balloon. Hold for five seconds. Exhale
deeply, deflating the lower chest and abdomen like a balloon. Hold
for five seconds. Do this three or four times, then allow your
breathing to return to a normal rhythm. You will begin to feel a
change come over your entire body. Gradually you will become less
aware of your breathing, but not captured in your stream of thoughts.
You will become more centered inward. You will just "be there."

The Full Spectrum Diet

As a Nationally Certified Herbalist and Licensed practitioner of Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine, Andrew Pacholyk, MS, L.Ac. has spent years developing a natural healthcare plan, which incorporates the benefits of fresh, full spectrum foods based on their color and their properties. A balance of attractive colors in the foods we eat, play an instinctual part as to what the body needs in the moment. The color energy of fruits, vegetables, vitamins and minerals all come into play when furnishing our bodies with the proper nourishment. Learn more about how to implement Andrew's outstanding "Full Spectrum Diet" into your lifestyle!

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