Relax Under Pressure
Imagine yourself in a difficult situation with your boss, your spouse,
your child, an irate customer. The other person is very angry and
tense, and you are the target of their anger. How do you react? Do you
meet fire with fire, become defensive, raise your voice? Does that
really accomplish anything?

Have you ever thought of consciously trying to relax when the world
around you is tense, upset or irritated? When the pressure is really
on, you can dramatically improve your own performance by remaining
calm and relaxed.

Impossible? No, not at all. You always have complete control over your
emotions, your actions. You can choose to be angry and tense, or you
can choose to be relaxed. Realize that your reaction is just that, a
reaction. You are not under the control of the other person.

Say to yourself, "I am going to take a deep breath, relax my
shoulders, my neck, my back, and meet this situation with calmness.
Rather than giving the power over my thoughts to this other person, I
will keep control of my own thoughts and work to resolve this situation."

Even when the anger and tension is not specifically directed at you,
an attitude of calm relaxation and control can help you to make the
best of any situation.

You control you
You always have the freedom to decide your own attitude. There is no
person, no law, no wall, no prison, no labor, no circumstance that can
prevent you from exercising control over your own mind.

Your circumstances do not control you. You control you. The world
around you is as good, or as bad, and you decide to make it. You could
be born in a palace, and end up making nothing of your life. Or you
could grow up in a slum, and rise to become a person of great
accomplishment.

You can be patient amid frustration. You can be focused amid
confusion. You can be disciplined amid debauchery. You can be positive
in the face of despair, and loving in the face of hatred.

The person you are inside, does not depend on the things happening on
the outside. A life of success comes from remaining steadfast to your
own purpose and using, rather than being consumed by, the whims of
circumstance.

All of now
The bright sun shines in the clear blue sky. Shimmering waves glisten
on a restless sea.

Beauty fills the world. Possibility fills your life.

The problems are real. Yet in each one is the opportunity to move forward.

This sparkling moment is one of a kind. Take it in with love and with
gratitude, and remember to live it fully.

This magical mystery that is your life knows only the limits you
choose to give it. In the heart of your spirit you can experience
anything you decide to experience.

Life is in all of now. See it, feel it and know it as it fills you
with wonder and joy.

Do you feel like you no longer control your own life? Like life's running you instead of you running it? That's because you're in the passenger seat, conforming to people, events and circumstances. They're in the driver seat, not you. No wonder your frustration level is high and your contentment level is low. "Don't let the world...squeeze you into its own mould." If you're feeling 'squeezed', you've two options:

(a) Remain a conformer, or become a transformer. Either choose to stay in the passenger seat, or get behind the wheel. The Bible says, "Do not be conformed to this world" (Rom 12:2). Instead be transformed into the proactive, faith-driven person God meant you to be.

(b) Take charge of your life by "renewing your mind". Instead of struggling to change the people and circumstances around you, change how you think and what you tell yourself. The Greek word for renewing means 'to align your thoughts with God's'. Abandon those self-defeating thoughts that tell you "you're not, you can't, and you'll never be able to". God says: "You are, you can, and you certainly will be able to," because of His indwelling power! John writes, "This is the victory that conquers the world - our faith" (1 John 5:4 NCV).

Go to God's Word! Discover what He says about the things that intimidate and control you, then pull the plug on them. The Word for you today is: "Don't be afraid...I am your God. I will make you strong...I will support you" (Isa 41:10 NCV). Align your thoughts with God's thoughts. Get into the driver seat and take charge of your life!

Hope
Hope will keep you going if you don't let it hold you back.

For hope to be of value, it must be put into action. Hope cannot be a
substitute for action. If we hope that things will get better, and
then use that hope as a reason to avoid the effort that would make
them better, what has hope achieved?

We can act with hope, yet it is not enough to depend on hope alone.
Indeed, we must respect our hopes by making a commitment to them -- a
solid commitment of time, energy and action. Hope must not become an
excuse, but rather an inspiration.

Have hope, and be careful not to take refuge in it. Live each moment
with hope, while knowing that you cannot prosper by hope alone. You'll
find power in your hopes. Put that power into action. Hope for the
best, and then do what it takes to make that a reality.

Stop Eating Your Anger By Sally Shannon Four years ago, Barbara Konwinski of Wyoming, Michigan, weighed 268 pounds. "I was so angry �?just angry at my life in general," the 54-year-old teacher, mother and wife recalls. "I felt I had no control over anything." Although she's normally cheerful and outgoing, a series of events that would challenge anyone �?her husband's job loss when his company relocated, a house fire and a serious accident involving her oldest son �?brought Barbara to an emotional low. And her weight to an all-time high. "Only food would appease me," she recalls. "So I would grab a cookie, eat it and then feel worse, because in addition to being angry and frustrated with my family's circumstances, I'd be angry with myself for eating. Then I would turn around and eat two more cookies." Barbara was literally stuffing her anger, something many women who struggle with their weight do, experts say. This is how it works: You have a run-in at the office, you open your mail to find a monster bill or your teenager rolls her eyes at you and stomps away. Your next stop is the kitchen or perhaps the staff lounge, where somebody brought in a cake. Never mind that you have been making a conscious effort to eat less. Down goes the cake, the leftover pizza or whatever else is around. "We've learned from thousands of patients that women often internalize their anger," says Gerard J. Musante, Ph.D., director of Structure House, a residential weight-loss center in Durham, North Carolina. "They use food to deal with the depression, emotional hurts and reduced self-esteem that follows." "People who swallow their anger feel, for whatever reason, that they can't express it, so they resort to food," says Thomas Wadden, M.D., director of the Center for Weight and Eating Disorders at the University of Pennsylvania's medical school. "The irony is, nobody enjoys eating when they're stuffing hostile feelings," Dr. Wadden adds. "Even if it's delicious, you may not notice the taste or how much you've eaten." Eating out of anger or frustration often sparks binges, which can really pile on the pounds, says Howard Rankin, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Inspired to Lose. Rather than eating just one or two cookies, you eat the whole bag, only to then move on to other food items. Keeping anger under wraps also is draining, because it uses a lot of energy, says Dr. Rankin. "The angry person may feel very empty and very hungry, with a desperate need to eat." 9 Ways to Change By Sally Shannon The comfort of a sugar high is another factor. In the 1970s, researchers at MIT found that sugars and starches have a powerful effect on serotonin, a brain chemical that helps control both our emotions and our eating, which is why we tend to crave those types of foods when we're upset. Some of the newer drugs for anxiety or depression, such as Zoloft and Paxil, also help alleviate symptoms by increasing serotonin activity in the brain. So, in a very real way, eating two jelly doughnuts or a candy bar is a type of self-medication. For Barbara, the turning point was when she learned she needed quadruple bypass surgery at age 48. Lying in her hospital bed, she resolved not to be a victim of emotionally triggered eating any longer. "It was literally do or die," she recalls. As soon as she was able, she began going to local meetings of a national weight-loss support group called Take Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS). Through discussions with friends there, she found the strength to change what she could about her life, including her eating and exercise habits. Barbara lost over 100 pounds and has kept most of the weight off for four years. "Now I work off any anger and stress by exercising, not by eating. I feel great!" she says. If you suspect you often eat because you're angry or frustrated, what can you do about it? Recognize that your life is never going to be trouble-free There will always be people and situations that upset your equilibrium. Anger or frustration may be totally justified. Your goal is not to deny those feelings, but to react to them in ways that benefit you and don't involve food. Put a name to what you are feeling even if you can't respond to the provocation out loud, suggests Eleanor Cole, Ph.D., a New York City psychologist who specializes in anger management. Simply saying to yourself, "I am so angry! That creep has loaded me up with more than my share of work again!" can be freeing. Forgive yourself If the person you're angry with is you, talk to yourself about those feelings. Then make a conscious effort to forgive yourself: "I'm mad that I couldn't ask that waitress to take back the cold coffee. But maybe next time I'll feel strong enough. It's okay that I'm not perfect." If you are honest with yourself about your anger or frustration, you may be less likely to "stuff" feelings. Beware of "You can't control me!" or defiance eating "Defiance eating often happens between spouses when one complains about the other's weight problem," says Dr. Wadden. "It also happens with overweight adolescents when a parent polices the kitchen." Eating to excess, even though it ultimately hurts the eater, is a way of expressing a strong emotion that isn't coming out. A better response? At a calm moment, have a frank discussion with your husband. Say, "Your criticism hurts and is not helping me." Then suggest what he can do to help. Take your emotional temperature each time you begin eating All the experts say so many Americans are overweight because we're constantly surrounded by tasty treats and we reach for them. In fact, we often eat when we're not truly hungry just because the food is there. Get into the habit of asking yourself why you feel like eating, preferably before you take the first bite. Plan ahead about what you will do if you are eating to ease negative feelings. For example, say to yourself, "I'm not going to stay in the conference room where all the food is. I'll calm myself by walking down to the supply closet instead." Install roadblocks to ward off emotionally triggered eating. Dr. Musante says he knows one woman who never carries anything less than a $5 bill, because the food and candy machines at her office take only $1 bills. Of course, she could ask a colleague for change, but often she regains her equilibrium before she gets that far. Other ideas: Dump the fiction that you buy goodies for your kids when you know you're prone to eat them yourself. Agree to be "gripe buddies" with a friend. Instead of eating when you're frustrated, call her to let off steam, and vice versa. Reject lingering cultural baggage, like "Ladies don't get mad" Everybody gets mad. "I'm incredibly uncomfortable about having negative feelings, especially when I'm around my mother," says lawyer Elizabeth Summerfield, 46, of Los Angeles. Elizabeth says she knows a lot of her trouble with expressing anger verbally comes from constantly having angry feelings tamped down as a child. "It's still widely thought in our culture that it simply isn't feminine to fight," she says. Jot down what you eat each day Most people underestimate the number of calories they consume by 50 to 100 percent, observes Dr. Rankin. The more overweight you are, the more likely that you often eat without being fully aware of how much is going into your mouth, he says. Making a list helps you get a grip on what you eat, how much, when and why. Don't expect to totally change your anger style overnight Especially if your number-one anger trigger is your boss or job, don't just wake up one morning and decide you're going to start telling people off, says Dr. Cole. "While it's good to begin expressing angry feelings in an appropriate way, if you've been passive previously and have taken what's handed out to you, people around you often won't be happy about your new behavior," she says. All changes in the way people act take time and persistence. Help for Emotionally Triggered Eating By Sally Shannon If you find that you spend a good portion of your time angry or frustrated and are overeating because of it, you may want to get help. The following peer groups often discuss issues surrounding emotionally triggered eating and are either free or have a nominal fee. Log on to Overeaters Anonymous or call 505-891-2664. Log on to Take Off Pounds Sensibly (TOPS) or call 800-932-8677. Other options are group or individual therapy, which can be specifically centered on weight control or anger management. To receive a referral for a psychologist in your area, call the American Psychological Association at 800-964-2000. Take things ONE DAY AT A TIME and BE KIND!!!!!!!

How to Battle Low Self-Esteem

Take things ONE DAY AT A TIME and BE KIND!!!!!!!

EXPRESSING GRIEF
by Charles R. Swindoll

Read Job 3:1--26

There are days too dark for the sufferer to see light. That's where
Job is as we end this chapter. Unfortunately, his so-called friends
will not bring him any relief. Like Job, you may not have seen light
for a long time either.

There are experiences too extreme for the hurting to maintain hope.
When a person drops so low due to inner pain, it's as if all hope is
lost. That's why Job admits his lack of ease, his absence of peace,
and his deep unrest.

There are valleys too deep for the anguished to find relief. It seems,
at that point, there is no reason to go on. We run out of places to
look to find relief. It's then that our minds play tricks on us,
making us think that not even God cares. Wrong! Do you remember the
line that Corrie ten Boom used to quote? I often call it to mind:
"There is no pit so deep but that He is not deeper still." I know, I
know. Those who are deeply depressed don't remember that and can't
reason with it. They would deny such a statement because they feel a
vast distance between them and God, and it's confusing---it's
frightening. But the good news is that God is not only there . . . He
cares.

It is noteworthy that there is no blast against Job at the end of
chapter 3. God doesn't say, "Shame on you, Job." God could handle
Job's words. He understood why he said what he said. He understands
you too. Unfortunately, Job has his words on record for preachers to
talk about for centuries. Yours and mine, thankfully, will hopefully
remain a secret inside our cars, or in the back part of our bedrooms,
or along the crashing surf, or perhaps under tall trees in a forest.
God can handle it all; so let it all out. Tell Him all that's in your
heart. You never get over grief completely until you express it fully.
Job didn't hold back. And I admire him more now than when I first
began the book.

Look up to find the Light.

Ease your burdens
Don't make life's difficulties even more difficult by filling your
mind with resentment. Instead, ease your burdens by choosing to be
truly thankful for them.

If you feel resentment starting to take hold, stop and consider this.
There's nothing to be gained by bringing yourself down over what has
already happened.

Use the occasion to remember all the things for which you can be
thankful. Rise to the challenge of seeing the positive aspects that
are surely there within any troubling situation.

Holding on to resentment will drain valuable energy away from you.
Gratitude, on the other hand, can fill you with fresh, new positive
energy.

Choose to see the value in your situation. Choose to look forward with
confidence instead of looking backward with resentment.

Right now, there is much for which to be thankful. Focus on the
positive possibilities, and find real joy in steadily bringing them to
life.

Criticism
Welcome criticism just as you would welcome praise. No matter what you
might say or do there will always be those who are anxious to criticize.

Generally, it is a waste of time to refute the criticism of others.
When you speak the truth and act with integrity, you will be proven
right in the end. So if the criticism is unjustified, it will be
discredited with or without your defense. If the criticism is indeed
justified, then your best course is to heed it rather than to refute it.

Criticism can hurt you only if you let it. Put honest thought, effort,
competence and commitment into your undertakings, and the criticism of
others will not matter. The negativity of your critics is their
problem, not yours.

Focus on going forward in pursuit of your goals. Let your critics
enjoy the perverse pleasure of their negativity, while you move right
on past them.

Patience
Patience saves you money. Patience saves time, reduces stress, and
improves your relationships.

With patience, you have the ability to achieve things that are simply
not possible without it. Using patience, you can more fully understand
and be understood.

Looking at life with patience, you can uncover and experience rich
treasures that you otherwise never would have known about. Living with
patience, you develop the persistence to create great and valuable things.

Patience does not mean sitting back and doing nothing. On the
contrary, patience means always doing the very best you can do, while
understanding that the results you seek will not come immediately.

Patience is the acknowledgement that the quality of life is much more
important than the quantity of things with which you fill it. Patience
is the willingness to accept what is, for right now, while putting all
you have into creating the best that can be.

Make the most of the many opportunities life provides for you to
practice patience. With patience is your life fully and richly lived.

Can I Borrow $25?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'

DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.

SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolity's.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.

'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.

'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours... But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

 

 

 

 

 

14 RULES TO A HAPPIER YOU

1 Look into the depths of your soul and take a good look at the inner you sort through all the things about yourself that you'd like to change! 2 Look beyond your natural being and come to terms with who u are spiritually! 3 Learn to think things through before you react in any situation! 4 Take time to praise yourself for goals reached and to be reached! 5 Do not allow yourself to think about mistakes of the past! 6 Be comfortable with being alone this will allow you time to get to no you! 7 Don't be afraid to say i need help! 8 Set at least 20 min a day aside to reflect on the days events and how they made u feel. 9 Tell the people you love that you love then u never no who may be feeling a lil down and needs a lil pick me up from a friend. 10 Understand that all people are different and no 1 acts as you do any any given situation. 11 Never let your guard down so far that it can't be pulled up without force! 12 Guard your heart at all cost. 13 Never love anyone more than u love yourself you and your needs come first! 14 Demand respect, give respect.