An elderly couple, he 90, she 88, appeared at a lawyer's office to arrange a no fault divorce.  They lawyer asked them why they wanted a divorce at such an advanced age.

 

The husband said, "She has always been critical of me.  Nothing I ever did was good enough for her.  All she ever did was complain.  She is a lousy cook and a bad housekeeper, and I want to spend my last days in peace and quiet."

 

The wife said, "He was always a lousy lover, he never provided for his family the way he could have, not because he didn't make any money, but because he spent too much of his income on himself.  He is always spending most of his time with his friends instead of with me."

 

The lawyer asked, "How long have you been married?" 

 

"70 years," they said.

 

"Well," the lawyer asked, "if you have been so dissatisfied with one another, why didn't you get a divorce sooner."

 

On this, they both agreed.  "We wanted to wait until the kids were dead."