Borrowed from Diverdown (aka Pineknot??) from another board.

 

When I was younger I hated going to weddings �?BR>it seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly
types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling,
telling me, 'You're next.'

They stopped that shit after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.



One night a father overheard his son saying his prayers "God
bless Mommy and Daddy and Grammy. Goodbye Grampa."
Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot
about it. The next day, the Grandfather died. About a month or
two later the father heard his son saying his prayers again
"God bless Mommy and Daddy. Goodbye Grammy."
The next day the grandmother died. Well, the father was getting
more than a little worried about the whole situation. Two weeks
later, the father once again overheard his sons prayers.
"God Bless Mommy. Good bye Daddy."

This alone nearly gave the father a heart attack. He didn't say
anything but he got up early to go to work, so that he would
miss the traffic. He stayed all through lunch and dinner.
Finally after midnight he went home. He was still alive! When he
got home he apologized to his wife. "I am sorry Honey. I had a
very bad day at work today." "You think you've had a bad day?
YOU THINK YOU'VE HAD A BAD DAY!?",
the wife yelled, "The mailman dropped dead on my doorstep this morning!"