crying in silence #2

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General : Emotional pain
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Message 1 of 16 in Discussion

From:

lostangeldreams (Original Message)

Sent: 10/17/2008 7:23 AM

I joined this group over emotional pain.I'm wrong to follow what

seem facts,I'm wrong not to just trust in God over this & feel so

much hurt.Everything started off wrong & maybe he's just a compulsive

liar.The signs of trouble are what he'd tell others yet I'm in the wrong

if I crack up over everything.It's nearly 4 yrs I'm in love with someone

online a well respected church man.The most obvious sign,he rarely

contact me & likes to feel wronged if I crack up.I have put him in a

corner & he still won't tell me the truth about anything.He just wants

me to go along with things.I guess I get what I deserve,I had no idea

of the truth & demanded it from the start.He told me separated from

wife & repeatedly asked for just the truth,about 5 months later I learnt

the truth unhappy marriage but still living together.All he does is hint,

hints that he's not with wife & talked about coming here.We have talked

about all sorts of things re getting together.I was fuming mad when I

found out still with wife & that I'd leave him alone to sort out his marriage.

Hints,hints & hints,nothing to workout,hints no longer together etc

I'm still waiting to meet him.I'd told him I'll see him by Valentine's Day

or I'd stop waiting,he got mad & said he never told me he'd be here.

It's 4 yrs at the end of next month,his wife now battling something serious

& getting treament.......led to believe he's financing it but that's all.

MMMMMMMMM he gets sad if I'm sad & beg for the truth,he'll say

sorry & never changes the contact.Improves it abit if I get on his back

about it.He told our friend he has apoligised to me but nothing has

changed & I don't know what to believe cos he doesn't open up.

LostAngel

First Previous 2-16 of 16 Next Last

Message 2 of 16 in Discussion

From:

lostangeldreams

Sent: 10/17/2008 7:27 AM

I fell in love with him & by the time I found out the truth,

hints to keep hanging on I have kept believing in him.

I have had much emotions over the fact he's married &

been near suicidal etc.Married or taken partners are a

no go zone to me & was devastated at the truth when

found out.

I have no been laughing thinking this is a great game etc.

I'm not a scheming type that wants to ruin lives etc.

Not that it makes me much better.

LostAngel

Message 3 of 16 in Discussion

From:

maggiesundoll

Sent: 10/18/2008 4:10 AM

Angel sounds like you have listen to the enemy here and I am truly sorry for the pain you are going through now.

I can only say from your post that in your heart you know this is wrong to have anything to do with a married man. So I can see you know the difference between right and wrong but you choose to continue an affair with a married man.

Nothing good can come out of lies and deceit unless that person has turned his/her life over to Jesus and ask for forgiveness.

You need to forget him and let him work out things with his wife who he made a covenant with her and God.

If he chooses to leave her then the guilt will be on his back not yours. You must ask for forgiveness from God and walk away and not look back and let this be a good lesson learned.

Nothing good is gain when we break a covenant with God, and it takes years to get back to where we were and happy with our Father who loves us and does forgive us when we confess our sins to him and change our sinful and selfish ways.

You must get out of the picture or you will know nothing but continue sorrow, pain, guilt, shame and much heartache for you and all of those you love. Now you hurt but you have no idea how big this hurt can become if you continue in this affair. Ask God and he will help you but you must be ready to ask God for forgiveness and leave this man behind.

In short your choice has caused you pain from both ends. On your end you have pain and suffering, loving a man who is not and cannot be yours, and cannot be truthful to you or himself and his family. On the other end you love a man who claims to be in pain over a relationship which you have no true knowledge of.

Without being a man of truth he cannot serve God, his family or you and is full of lies and deceit.

You can read David in the bible and see what happened with him when he went after anothers mans wife. David suffered so much grief, pain, shame, for his own selfishness, and loss so much. He messed up four family lives here very sad story but has a good ending because he came back to God, and even then he had some very severe consequences. But David was very thankful for his consequences and thank God for he knew he had his relationship back with God. Very good story the book of David. So when we sin we all will suffer the price of sin.

I am praying you will make the right choice here.

God does not help us in our pain and sorrow until we confess our iniquities to him and ask for forgiveness.

God is a loving and forgiving father but he wants us to come to him when we are trouble and tell him our worries and ask for forgiveness when we have sin.

Love and Hugs MaggieSunshine

Message 4 of 16 in Discussion

From:

maggiesundoll

Sent: 10/18/2008 5:04 AM

Animation1angelhugs.gif image by haleydoll

c3e5re2.jpg Revelation 4:21 image by tiamichi143

setyourmindonthingsabove.jpg Set Your mind above image by 1cross

type=text/javascript> Event.observe($('fullSizedImage'), 'load', function(event) { pageTags.addTagListToImg('fullSizedImage', [ { tag_id: 811294, tag:'bible verses', url:'', p1x: 0.354286, p1y: 0.304182, p2x: 0.645714, p2y: 0.692015 } ]); }); </SCRIPT>

Love and Hugs MaggieSunshine

Message 5 of 16 in Discussion

From:

maggiesundoll

Sent: 10/18/2008 5:18 AM

Angel I am still here praying for you and now I do pray you are feeling better and have some scriptures for you to read when you can and I pray that these verses will give you peace and comfort.

PSALM chapter 107 and 116

Hugs and Love MaggieSunshine

Message 6 of 16 in Discussion

From:

lostangeldreams

Sent: 10/19/2008 1:58 AM

Thankyou for all your replies.I guess I hang onto the hints that

he's not with wife anymore but the fact he's not having open

discussions lead me to think otherwise.He's a well respected

high up church guy in his community.........I'm sad,nevermind.

Thanks you've given me some reading.I am not that knowledgable

when it comes to bible or God.

LostAngel

Message 7 of 16 in Discussion

From:

Tammyg516

Sent: 10/20/2008 5:24 PM

We can't help who we fall in love with. And unfortunitly there are more ppl in this world that will do anything to get what they want. No matter how much they hurt other ppl. Please remember that you are very special LostAngel and you deserve so much better. You are very strong and with God and your friends, you will get thru this.

From what you have said, he has already told you that he is not leaving his wife(all the reasons and excuses say it all). He will tell you anything, he thinks you want to hear to keep you around.

We all want to be in love and feel loved but there are times when we need and should put ourselves first. A good friend of mine has a favorit saying : I can make my own self miserable, I don't need you for that! I feel that saying is very true. We want to meet some one to be happy and have fun, not some one who is going to make us miserable just b/c they can or they are feeling that way. It is not fair for some one to ask 100% from some one if they can not give 100% back.

In Feb I will be married for 11 yrs. I have been seperated for the past 3 1/2 yrs, but I finally put a stop to everything about 6 mo. ago. It is a daily struggle for me, b/c I am scared to death of spending the rest of my life alone. Even tho I am scared, I am happier, maybe relieved is a better word to use. I know that doesn't make any sense but that is how I feel. I don't have to deal with..........well there is alot that I don't have to deal with anymore.

Hun, just remember that we are here for you and will try to help the best that we can......you are never alone. Hugs~T

Message 8 of 16 in Discussion

From:

lostangeldreams

Sent: 10/21/2008 1:08 AM

Thanks T............I understand what you described about yourself.

Hugs for your own big stuff you are going through.

Maybe this all is a big deal to him & there is always a part of me

that understands him/things MMMMMM anyway today is a new

days wanna cry but in my confused mind I am getting on with today.

LostAngel