When my Master Sarge came home last month I was so happy. He had been gone so long and I missed him. No one would take me for walks and no one talked to me. But now he is home and we are having fun again.
My master has in our house little boxes that have a bone laying on them. Some times these boxes make funny sounds and my master picks the bone up and talks into it. He tells me that there is someone talking to him on the bone (he calls it a phone). Sometimes he is happy when he talks to the phone and sometimes he is sad. But there is a human someone that calls him all the time on the box and my master is angry at the human on the other end. And he hardly says anything and then drops the bone onto the box real hard. But now that my master is retired (I don't know what that is) he is home all the time and has lots of time on his hands (that is what he says, time on his hands) and when one of the humans calls him he has fun. He told me that it was a salesman (? what is that?) and he was going to have fun with him. It usually goes like this; My master says Hello into the phone bone and then he doesn't say anything for a long while. Finally he will say "I am sorry but I am an Army veteran and can't hear well on the phone, you will have to talk louder." And he says this very loud. Soon he will say "I still can't hear you very well can you talk slower and louder?!" Then the human salesman on the phone thing is yelling. My master will hold the phone thing away from his ear and then I can hear the other human very well (we dogs have very good hearing) and he is wanting my master to buy something. But my master will repeat back to him a lot of funny things like. "You want to buy me a house?" And the salesman human will shout "NO I WANT TO REFINANCE YOUR HOUSE" My master will say, "I missed some of that, will you say it again louder?" And then the human salesman will shout real loud ( I have to cover my ears with my paws). Then the human salesman wants my master to tell him a lot of things and my master will say, "No I do not tell anyone anything on the phone, can we come down to your office? And the salesman human says he is in Florida (? what is a Florida?) Then my master told the salesman human "Can you fly us down to Florida, we have always wanted to see Florida." "Can my dog come too?" OH BOY that sounds good to me. "No no I mean you buy the ticket." My master said. And the salesman human stopped tolking. "Hello Hello" my master says a couple of times and then the phone thing goes duuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Darn I Wanted to see a Florida (what ever it is)
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