Paul says,"Be ye kind, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." ( Eph 4:32 ). We should seek to be as patient and forgiving with others as God is with us.
Forgiveness is Christ-like, but revenge is devilish.
1. Do not seek to be revenged. He who does the wrong suffers most. Endure wrong, but never do wrong. We should pity wrongdoers, for they must answer to God for the wrong.
Anger or passion convinces no person, but it shows weakness, and results in humiliation and disturbed peace.
If another is angry at you have enough sense to keep cool, and do not be tantalizing.
Silence is often the finest eloquence, and forbearance the most potent resentment.
The wise man said, It is an honor for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling." ( Prov 20:3 )
An enemy, or one who has wronged you, can stand abuse; but kindness will conquer him. Resentment feeds resentment, and coldness and severity foster still stronger opposition.
The most effective way of treating an enemy, or one that has done you an injury, or a person that will not speak to you, is to kill him with kindness; for if you kill him that way, it is the easiest way of disposing him, as then you don't have to bury him.
2. Do not be disposed to either give or take offence. I believe many of the seeming variances have no malice, revenge or ill-will in them, but are only absurd whims, childish differences, or petty party jealousies. In heaven many of us will say to others, "What fools we were on earth to harbor litttle whims, and not speak to one another!" Would it not be better for such to have a little common sense now, and so see their folly, give up their whims, childishness and seeming differences, and speak to one another and act as Christians should?
3. Be wise in the treatment of injuries. Do not, as some people brood over injuries, nurse your grievances, imagine insults, slights, and wrongs, and talk about them, or the very fire of perdition will inflame you.
A man strikes me with a knife, and inflicts a wound. Suppose, instead of binding up the wound, I am showing it to everybody; and after it has been bound up, I am taking off the bandage constantly and examining the depth of the wound, and making it fester, is there a person in the world who would not call me a fool? However, such a fool is he, who by dwelling upon little injuries or insults, causes them to agitate and influence his mind. How much better would it be to put a bandage on the wound and never look at it again!
If we will obey the words of Jesus, "Love your enemies," instead of exposing the wounds and bruises inflicted by cutting words and cruel acts, we will use the balm of love or liniment of grace, and get the bandages on at once and keep them there till the wounds are healed and the soreness gone.
4. Let us imbibe the spirit of Him Who, while suffering inexpressible agony and anguish upon the Cross, yet in love prayed for His enemies and murderers that wonderful prayer: "Father, forgive them." No wonder they said; "Truly this was the Son of God." Let us have grace to follow His loving example, so shall people know that we are sons and daughters of God.
Do with troubles, wrongs, insults and grievances, as dogs do with bones - bury them, and then if anybody dare dig them up - growl.
The importance of having a forgiving spirit is most impressively taught us by Jesus, as He makes only one comment upon the Lord's Prayer. Study His words carefully: "If ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." ( Matt 6:14-15 )
5. Perhaps you say, "I cannot forgive a person till he is willing to receive it." Do not make that argument an excuse for having an unforgiving spirit. We can forgive when asked, and also, like Jesus, we may be always forgiving; that is, we may be always disposed to forgive.
To have a spirit of forgiveness does not imply that you will allow yourself to be defrauded or of law and justice to be frustrated, but to harbor an unforgiving spirit is suicidal. We should forgive, that we may be forgiven. ( Mark 6:25-26 )
If you were dying you would want to be forgiving. I fear however some persons would be like the one who thinking he was dying, shook hands with his neighbor over an old score, and then added, "If I die I forgive you; but remember, if I live, it stands just as it was."
6. Is there any person to whom you will not speak? Phil 2:5 prescribes an effectual cure. "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus."
If you have had difficulties with another, act on the maxim, "Bury the hatchet;" but do not bury it with the handle sticking out, so that you can readily get hold of it again. Bury it deeply and forever.
7. Some complacently say, "I will forgive when asked." Christ directs, "Go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone; if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother" ( Matt 18:15 ). We had better obey Christ.
8. It is important to apologize or ask forgiveness when we in any way wrong others. Remember the precept, "Confess your faults one to another." ( James 5:16 )
Do not forget that Christ also enjoins that you should seek to reconcile any one that "hath ought against thee," though you have nothing against him ( Matt 5:23-24 ). It may go against the carnal nature to do this, and especially so if you give any cause for offense; but let grace triumph, and obey Christ. The eternal salvation of another may depend on you doing your duty. We should, however, always endeavor to avoid the necessity of making apologies by always controlling our spirits and actions, tongues and tempers. If we apologize when we speak unkindly or act wrongly, we will be more careful to always have our words kind and action right.
It is much better to keep from giving offense than to apologize after the wrong is done.
When a person having done wrong apologizes, that one rises in the estimation of others. "He that humbleth himself shall be exalted."
Brother Love
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