~THE AWAKENING~

 

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...

 

When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop

dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your

head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying, or

struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down

after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you

shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and

through a mantle of wet lashes,

you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

 

This is your awakening...

 

You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting

for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security

to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms

with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are

not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren’t

always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter)

and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin

with you and in the process,

a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

 

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that

not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who

or what you are...and that’s OK.

(They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)

And you learn the importance of loving

and championing yourself

and in the process, a sense of new found confidence

is born of self-approval.

 

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the

things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you

learn that the only thing you can really count on is the

unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what

they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone

will always be there for you and that it’s not always

about you. So, you learn to stand on your own

and to take care of yourself and in the process,

a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

 

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to

accept people as they are and to overlook their

shortcomings and human frailties and in the process,

a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

 

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the

world around you, is a result of all the messages and

opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You

begin to sift through all the junk you’ve been fed about

how you should behave, how you should look and how

much you should weigh, what you should wear and where

you should shop and what you should drive, how and

where you should live and what you should do for a living,

who you should marry and what you should expect of a

marriage, the importance of having and raising children

or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new

worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing

and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

 

You learn the difference between wanting and needing

and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve

outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with

and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

 

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and

that there is power and glory in creating and

contributing and you stop maneuvering through life

merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

 

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are

not the outdated ideals of a by gone era,

but the mortar that holds together the foundation

upon which you must build a life.

 

You learn that you don’t know everything; it’s not your job

to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility

and the importance of setting boundaries and

learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is

the one you choose to carry

and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

 

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love.

How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving

and when to walk away. You learn not to project

your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.

You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent,

more lovable or important because of the man on your arm

or the child that bears your name.

 

You learn to look at relationships as they really are

and not as you would have them be. You stop trying

to control people, situations and outcomes.

 

You learn that just as people grow and change,

so it is with love; and you learn that you don’t have

the right to amend love on your terms,

just to make you happy.

 

You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact

that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and

you stop trying to compete with the image inside your

head and agonizing over how you "stack up".

 

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings

aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly

OK and that it is your right, to want things

and to ask for the things that you want and that

sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

 

You come to the realization that you deserve to be

treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect

and you won’t settle for less. You allow only the hands

of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch

and in the process,

you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

 

And you learn that your body really is your temple.

You begin to care for it and treat it with respect.

You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water

and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue

diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear.

So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body,

laughter fuels our soul;

so you take more time to laugh and to play.

 

You learn that for the most part in life,

you get what you believe you deserve

and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working

for and that wishing for something to happen,

is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve

success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone

and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

 

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear

is the great robber baron of all time - FEAR itself.

You learn to step right into and through your fears,

because you know that whatever happens

you can handle it and to give in to fear,

is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

 

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it

living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get

what you think you deserve and that sometimes,

bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people.

On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things.

You learn that you are not being punished,

it’s just life happening.

 

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state,

the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger,

envy and resentment must be understood and redirected

or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison

the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit

when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

 

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many

of the simple things we take for granted; things

that millions of people can only dream about;

a full refrigerator, clean running water,

a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly you begin to take responsibility for yourself,

by yourself and you make yourself a promise to

never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less

than your heart’s desire. You hang a wind chime outside

your window so you can listen to the wind,

and you make it a point to keep smiling,

to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

 

Finally, with courage in your heart,

you take a deep breath and you begin

to design the life you want to live

as best as you can.