Brandy I am sorry to hear this about your dad. If he stopped dialysis hun the toxins are building up in system. That will certainly cause fatigue and other problems for him.

Non of us want to think of our loved ones wanting to leave us. My dad refused chemo and other treatments for his last bout with cancer. He was tired of feeling so awful and tired of doctors and being poked and prodded at. He was just tired and wanted not to feel that way anymore. It was so hard to accept and then have to watch the process. But we all agreed to his wishes and made what time he did have with us special.

I talked with my dad and let him know that yes I would cry many tears over not being able to see him and talk with him like I wanted when I wanted but that I would be ok with what ever he decided he wanted for himself. I let him know I respected his decision to let go and rest. Having that conversation with him was thee hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. No sinereo can prepare us for this type of discussion with a loved one. We don't think of this sort of thing.

And ya know us human beings  we can be selfish we don't want to let go of those we love so dearly. And that is perfectly normal to feel that way, most of us do Brandy. I am by no means saying your a selfish person honey ok. I am letting you know if you at any time feel angry or frustrated by this decision it is normal don't beat yourself up over it ok.

I will always be here for you Brandy. Many times on the boards I can not relate to what others talk about. Today , with you....I can totally relate to what you are dealing with and going through. If you need me I am just a click away. Just remember Brandy we all care about you and that you are not alone ok. And I will keep your father and you in my deepest thoughts and prayers.

 

loving gentle hugs

Brandy, dialysis is not a treatment to make you feel better, its a treatment to keep you alive. that he has lasted this long is amazing but it won't be much longer before the toxins in his system take his life. he HAS to know this and may be someone who would rather die than be tied to a machine. this is truly sad because dialysis can give back your life.

I lost my brother yesterday and he fought with all that medical science and his own strong will gave him. it saddens me to see that others will give us so easily.

unless your father gets back on dialysis, and soon, there is no way he can stay alive. I wish my brother could pass some of his fight to your father.

Brandy,

 

I am so sorry you are hurting. Watching a loved on make such a decision would be so hard. I will keep your dad and family in my prayers.

 

Sally

God grant me the serentiy

to accept the things I can not change

the courage to change the things I can

and the wisdome to know the difference

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brandy,

 

     So many things enter into his decision that I dont know the answers to. How long has he been on dialysis? You said he had a stroke recently and one some years ago and also an aneurysm some years ago also. We all have our limitations and sometimes just dont think we can go through anymore, It has nothing to do with our family members and how much we love them, its just that our body tires out and needs a  rest. And to be honest, sometimes its just " time to go ". Time to let go of all the stress, pain, weariness, worry, and frustration. Im quite sure he loves you with all his heart Brandy, and I wish he could talk to you more so y;ou would understand why he needs to do this. But even when you understand, it doesnt make it any easier for you to accept his decision and it probably never will. Just know that whatever decisions he makes he still loves you immensely and its perfectly normal for you to grieve and not want him to. We will always be here for you Brandy. Thats why we are here. We are not only PKD patients, we are family of PKD patients also. And that is what families do.   PKD Mother Dianne

Spiderwoman,

Very sorry to hear about your loss. I know how hard it is to lose someone so close.

 

"it saddens me to see that others give up so easliy" -at this point I'm not sure why my dad stopped going to dialysis.

 

This is a man, who gave up everything for his kids. Single parent, had no clue what to do when three small infants were dropped off at his place with no explanation. Hesacrafised everything so his kids could have a decent childhood. Worked very hard for everything we have.

 

It's not just the dialysis issue. He was given a year to live in september. He is a religious man, he feels like it's his time to go. And he's battled in and out of hospitals for 20 years. GIving up easily? I don't see it that way.

 

words can be powerful and hurtful without realizing it too

oh Brandy I never meant to hurt you and with all the pain I am in right now I certainly don't want anyone else to hurt like that. I am known for my "shoot from the hip" way of talking and don't realize some others can't deal with it.

I come from a family of fighters and watched my mother have an aneurysm at age 33 that left her unable to speak and paralyzed on the left side. a second aneurysm at age 41 took her life.

of 4 kids I am the only one left. Friday I lost my brother and my heart is broken and I sure don't mean to cause anyone else any pain. my brother was such a fighter and he sure didn't have it easy, with PKD, nephrectomy, transplant, colon cancer and finally liver cancer that spread through his body. I know everyone can't fight like that but I certainly don't fault them for it.

accept my apology but unless your dad gets back on dialysis you will losing him. he can't live much longer without it.