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All Message Boards : What I learned from my FATHER
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 Message 1 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameUSAmeetsUK  (Original Message)Sent: 6/15/2008 4:39 PM



The following is from an MSN interveiw about the late great Johnny Cash, from his son:  I found it a fascinating insight into the mind and heart of the MAN IN BLACK

My father wasn't the perfect ideal of a father, there's no doubt. He struggled. He dealt with addiction throughout his life. But the good in him triumphed. I learned at a very early age that it was of the utmost importance to show honor to your father. It wasn't just something that he told me or taught me by disciplinary measures. It was something that I saw my father display to his parents. I never saw him disrespect my grandfather, even though he may have disagreed with him.

My father liked to enjoy his money. He loved his travels and his toys, and he was more on spending than he was on saving. However, he knew very well that money cannot bring happiness. He knew that it was not a path to peace. It was just a by-product of hard work. It wasn't something he worried about much, that's true. He and my mother spent it like there was always going to be more coming!

He taught me that it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. It's about finding the next right thing. What am I excited about now? My father was a spiritual man, and he read the Bible a lot. And I remember him reciting Solomon, who said that there's no greater joy than to toil at our labor. That's what success was to my dad, to always have something to look forward to, to feel that sense of urgency.

He had a Christian view of marriage. Your wife is to be cherished and taken care of. We are to love and appreciate our wives as we care for our own spirits. He struggled in his marriages, but he also had that sense of determination: I'm going to stick to it. He believed that no matter what, you stay together, you work it out. I saw him do that regularly with my mother, forgive as his religion taught him to, as far as from east to west, as if the wrong had never been done.

He stayed in touch with the mystery. My father often said, "I believe that I am directed." He showed me that there was an excitement and a sense of mystery to life. What is my direction? What does God have planned for me? We can never believe that we have it all figured out.

Honesty surpasses dignity. He was able to show his weaknesses and frailties and not lose his dignity. He was honest, and I believe that honesty has to surpass concern for your personal dignity. You have to expose yourself to be appreciated and respected. My father in lots of ways was like Job in the Bible. He prayed many times for his physical or spiritual pain to be removed. But he never cursed God because of those pains. He owned them.

He said to love as strong and hard as you can. At the end of his life, he was sad. He felt loneliness because he was without my mother. What he was trying to relate to me when he said this was "Let people know you love them. Get close. Stay close. And be true. Live life to its fullest, as if each day were the last." I saw him live that way, and I believe that he didn't carry any regrets with him.

John Carter Cash, 38, is Johnny Cash's only son and the only child of his father's 35-year marriage to June Carter. John Carter worked closely with his father, coproducing three of his most highly regarded albums and laboring by his side through the degenerative illness that killed him in 2003. He has overseen his father's musical catalog since that time and produced for Billy Joe Shaver, Marty Stuart, and George Jones. He wrote his mother's biography, Anchored in Love

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 Message 2 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameUSAmeetsUKSent: 6/15/2008 4:51 PM
Growing up in a small town (Ripley, NY ) but in a large family was idyllic.  My childhood was truely blessed with two parents who loved each other to the very end and beyond.  When my Pop passed away my Mother still felt married to him and never again was at peace until she was able to join him.
There is alot my Dad taught me:  I think the most important thing though, is to be able to laugh at life.  I know that's a cliche' but for me, it has sustained me through lifes toughest trials.  To be able to find humor even when you might not be in a happy time can give you the strength to see past it, to know that this too shall pass.  My Dad was the funniest man, and I can't stress that enough.  Today I will go on a quest to retrace some of the steps to places he took me and my siblings on around this area.  My Dad taught me to be happy.  I don't know how, I just remember him with a smile, always.
Another important thing he taught us was to cherish and be cherished.  That sounds simple, but in this life it's not always a given. 
I love ya Pop.

 Message 3 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSueMac527Sent: 6/15/2008 5:48 PM
My father Dennis will be 86 years old in August.  He is going a little deaf but he is fit and well and happily takes care of my mum who has poor mobility - he does all the cooking and the housework and he won't have people come round and do the garden for him.  He is an ispiration to me and much loved by my sons.  Eleven years ago, on his 75th birthday, we threw a party for him and I wrote a poem for him.  Here it is:
For My Father

Life is like a long hard climb
To the brow of the highest hill of all
Some never make it to the top
Tired or fearful lest they fall
Sometimes I have faltered along my way
Things haven't gone quite as I planned
But whenever I longed to be back on the ground
You led me along with outstretched hand
The higher I climbed, the greater the view.
The more I could see of the world below.
Yes you gave me the world and I thank you each day
For the greatest gift any man could bestow

 Message 4 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameKazYetAgainSent: 6/16/2008 12:02 PM
My father taught me to always keep a sense of humour. I inherited the same quirky sense of humour.
Something else he inadvertantly taught me was to never delay doing things that really matter to you.
Unfortunately, he did exactly that - he left it too late, his illness overtook him. He bitterly regretted not visiting his one and only sister.
So - "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today."

- Kaz

 Message 5 of 9 in Discussion 
From: SnowSent: 6/16/2008 11:03 PM
My Father Mark Burnett McLean.sadly died 15yrs ago and to this day I miss him greatly....being the only daughter I was always his " Princess"
We spent many hours on the staircase talking through what problems i had as a small child and as an adult....He had such a great sense of humour and was a hard working man ...I only ever seen him angry twice in my life ....the strange thing was though that he was not the kind of man to give you a cuddle....
but to me he was " My Dad"

 Message 6 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameUSAmeetsUKSent: 6/17/2008 2:53 AM
I can't help but notice a recurring theme.  Everyone of us mentions that our fathers have given us the gift of a sense of humor.  Maybe that's something that has helped to draw us all together here. 
What greater gift is there? be able to keep your sense of humor no matter what..I can't say it enough.  There is a joy deep within us, when we've grown up knowing we were loved and cherished as children, kept safe and warm, fed and entertained through out our lives. 

 Message 7 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameDonno774Sent: 6/17/2008 7:36 PM
Bob Donnison 1913-1952
Our mother got a call late December 1951 dad had had an accident at work . She rushed to Lincoln County Hospital with her sister Norah . Dad had fallen from a cradle while mending a roof and hit his head He was a very fit man but a head injury i n those days was almost always fatal. They could hear them singing Auld Lang Syne at the Stonebow as 1952 came along.. Dad died of his injuries later that night New Years day..Aunt Norah told me as mother was pregnant they had a bed for her as they thought she may miscarry but she was determed to have the baby. I was born In the June. I remember at school i was mortified at not having a father like all the other kids. I dont know why but it affected me badly. My sister was 13 when he died and she still weeps at his memory. Im looking now on my wall a photo of him in his commando beret . I took the photo to Scotland last November to show the old soldiers there and as we were looking at it a young scottish waitress came by and said "Phoarrah hes hot ,who is he? ,"I said "thats my father" and felt very proud

 Message 8 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSueMac527Sent: 6/17/2008 9:11 PM
What lovely, touching stories.  I feel a huge lump in my throat reading them.  A reminder of how we can all impact others with even the smallest kindnesses.
Donno that is tragic that you grew up without your father.  Of course it impacted you but it seems to me that he found a way to be with you through your life anyway. 

 Message 9 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameBuckshotBob11Sent: 7/21/2008 7:24 PM
My Father taught me alot and the one thing that always sticks out in my mind is. Treat people the way you want them to treat you.
 And Respect other peoples property. If they lend you something always return it in better shape than what you got it.
and also fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice......shame on me.
ok I know thats three things but they just kept sneaking up on me.......

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