Got this great tidbit from the Net & since there are a few of you that I know of who will be going through this shortly, I wanted to pass it along as I thought it was full of great tips no matter what branch of the military you or your spouse is serving in, even though it is directed mainly toward Sailors. You might even want to pass it along to your military spouse via email B4 they arrive home.
Marian
Homecoming after deployment - returning from active military service HMAS Anzac 22 November 2001
This is a copy of the information sent to sailors and their friends and family when it was publicly announced that HMAS Anzac would be returning from the Persian Gulf after their support of American Warships at the time of the September 11 crisis. Tips for reunion
Reunion is a part of the deployment cycle and is filled with joy and stress. The following tips can help you have the best possible reunion.
Tips for sailors
· Recognize and support good things your family has done
· Take time to listen to, and talk to, your spouse, family and loved ones.
· Make time for individual children and your spouse.
· Go slowly to find or re-establish your place in the family.
· Be prepared to make some adjustments.
· Romantic conversations first, can make re-entering love relations easier.
· Be careful with money (don't splurge too much).
· Go easy on the parties.
Tips for spouses for reunion
· Avoid a busy schedule at first.
· Go slow to making adjustments.
· You and your spouse may need time for yourself.
· Remind partners they are still needed in the family.
· Discuss splitting up family responsibilities (don't assume too much).
· Stick to your budget until you have had time to talk it over.
· Along with time for the family, make individual time to talk.
· Patience, understanding and communication are the keys to re-building a relationship.
Tips for reunion with children
· Slowly adapt back to the old rules and routines.
· Be available to you child, with time and emotion.
· Let the child be first to re-new the bonds & don't force them.
· Expect some changes in your children while you've been away.
· Focus on the childrens' successes and limit all criticisms, especially at first.
· Encourage your child to talk about what has happened while you were away. Dealing with changes and expectations
With deployments come changes. Knowing what to expect and how to deal with changes can make reunion more enjoyable and less stressful. Below are some hints you might want to think about before and discuss with your family, for a happy homecoming.
Expectations for sailors
· You may want to spend time talking about your experiences, however some family may not.
· Roles may have changed to manage basic household jobs.
· Face to face communication may be difficult at first, after separation.
· Intimacy may also be awkward at first.
· Children grow up during separations; they may seem different.
· Spouses sometimes become more independent, and need more space.
· You may have to change your outlook on priorities in the household.
Expectations for spouses
· Returning partners may have changed.
· Returning partners may feel closed in on some days and need "some space".
· Returning partners often feel overwhelmed by the everyday noise and routines of home life.
· Allow partners to get back to their own sleeping patterns.
· Partners often feel left out at first, needing time to adjust.
· Partners may feel hurt when small children are slow to hug and show emotions.
What children may feel
· Babies less than 1 year may cry when being held.
· Toddlers may not known you at first and may hide.
· Preschoolers 3-5 years may be scared to see you due to the separation.
· School age 6-12 years may demand more of your time than other children do.
· Teenagers may seem moody and appear as if they don't care.
· Some children may be anxious, and fear your expectations of them.
· Children may be torn by loyalties to the spouse who remained.
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