This poem was in my newspaper today written by a man in Bath, England, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.
Can anyone open this?
There's cheese inside this wrapper
But I can't get it out,
I've got the crackers ready
And I'll enjoy them, I've no doubt
I've tried to snip the corner
But not an inch will give,
I've struggled now for half an hour
And I've lost the will to live.
There's milk inside this carton
But I can't get it out,
My cereal is waiting
But I just can't form the spout.
I've tried a pair of scissors
Totally in vain,
And now I've dropped it in the sink
And it's all gone down the drain.
There's bacon in this packet
But I can't get it out,
I fancied the 'Full English'
Even though I'll end up stout.
I tried to use the carving knife,
Well, it's always worked before,
But suddenly it slipped, and now
I'm bleeding on the floor.
There are pills in this container
But I can't get them out,
I take them 'cos they keep me calm
And curb my urge to shout.
These tops, I'm told, are 'childproof'
But no matter what the size
The only ones who can open them
Are children under five.
There's wine inside this bottle
But I can't get it out,
I'm feeling rather desperate now -
My tongue is hanging out.
I've tried to use the corkscrew
And now that's stuck as well,
I'll have to try another one,
Damn it all to hell!
There's a man in a laboratory
But I can't get him out,
He developed all this packaging
To keep bacteria out.
But what he failed to notice
(Which wasn't his intention),
is that nobody has found a way
To open his invention.
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