50Good Chat

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Not sure if I am venting, complaining or just rambling. Anyway, today hasn't been such a good one. I have a problem with thinking too much, I can't get the motivation to act, to do things that I need to, but I can sure think. Lay head on pillow and the thoughts flow. I went to bed tonight at 10:30, fell asleep, back up at 12:30. Sitting here with a slice of peanut butter bread and a glass of milk. I envy those that can get a restful nights sleep. Today I have been thinking on what a shallow life that I have. Sure, I have the ole financial problems that I most likely will always have. I can't just go out to eat when I want or get things when needed but it's more than that. The past 5 yrs seem like 20, I lost my mom, a brother, came out of work with a knee injury, later hurt the other too, my husband got sicker and died, I lost a child that I had practically raised for most of his 13 years. I have now lost my veterans benefits, need a lawn mower, washer is leaking, the computer is dying. LOL funny in a way. If I lose the puter, that will certainly pose a big problem. It's my way of feeling like I am not invisible some days. I used to love to cook and bake, but its different now. No more big dinners for the family, my kids don't get along well. I look at myself, realize the age I am, but also know that I am not old old. There is life out there, there are things I would like to change, but I don't have a lot of options. I get overwhelmed when I see the numerous tasks that are needed to be handled here, things that I don't have help with, nor the means of hiring out. A bit of depression sets in at times, I want to bury my head under the covers but when I come out, the problems are still there. Thanks for just allowing me to write here, helps some...........Peggy

If I can be a help to you...say so...I am a good listener...

Thanks all of you........I just read back over what I had written, man, I was having a horrible sucking day....lol.........I am glad for the friends in this group, you are real people, not just someone on another computer.

Peggy, just wanted you to know that you have sympathy here with me. I understand so much the financial problems, feeling like life is so empty, and the last couple of years it is one thing after another seems like. Mom dying, David's alcoholism, and our separation, buying this house that I grew up in, but am now in SOOOO much debt til I am 80. LOL Right now my health seems ok. but that could end, and then how do I make the payments? I worry bout stuff like that all the time. Now my son-in-law has a slut girlfriend on the side and my daughter is all to pieces along with the 4 boys. I know how hard it can be and I know that God will be here to guide us thru it all somhow, so don't give up hope. If I could, I would come up and help you out. Maybe sometime I really can. LOL, then we can gripe together! So, Chin up girl, and things WILL get better, I just know it.

Important Announcement The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
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