MSN Home  |  My MSN  |  Hotmail
Sign in to Windows Live ID Web Search:   
go to MSNGroups 
Free Forum Hosting
 
Important Announcement Important Announcement
The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
A Lot Of Crazy Friends[email protected] 
  
What's New
  
  Welcome  
  READ THIS FIRST  
  Message Boards  
  Members Mailboxes  
  Art Gallery  
  Creative writing  
  Gardening  
  General  
  Laughing Stock  
  â™«Piemans Place�?/A>  
  Photography  
  Poetry  
  Speakers Corner  
  Techy Stuff & PC  
  Wildlife  
  Currency Converter  
  World Times  
  Friends R Us  
  Pictures  
  Book Review  
  Film Review  
  Games People Play  
  Music/Concert Review  
  Members Birthdays  
  Banner Exchange  
  Links  
  How do I ??  
  Reflection Room  
  Documents  
  
  
  Tools  
 
Creative writing : Someone's After Me Dah.
Choose another message board
 
     
Reply
(5 recommendations so far) Message 1 of 14 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameOcker�?  (Original Message)Sent: 9/28/2003 5:27 PM
Someone's after me Dah.
 
I know about it, I heard some boyos talkin' about it in O'Grady's. ' That Gerry Conlon's going to get his, real soon.' one of em said, and they all laughed and said like it was about time and called me Dah a drug dealin' bastard.
 
They knew I was listening, course they did, some folks think it's better to frighten the poor sod first by lettin' him know he's gonna get knee-capped or worse. Me, I don't agree, well lookit a lot of fellas has bunked off to England or America wot with knowin' that 'the boys' are lookin' for 'em. OK so's they aren't around Belfast no more, sellin' drugs, or runnin' brothels or stealing cars an ' the like but feckit, if your gonna do someone over just do it and be done, that's what I say anyway.
 
Jeez I remember waiting to get the strap from the headmaster at St' Josephs College right enough. The bastard would 'invite', shit yea 'invite' you to his study to be beaten. You always got a time and unless you were a right fuckin' eeejit you were there on time or early ! His secretary a right frosty ole cow would check you were there and go tell him, then he'd make you wait. Ohh yes the worse part was the waitin'. Staring at the school photographs on the wall. They took one every two years, the whole lot of us in one bloody great sweep. If you looked at the one from 1958 there's me Dah, Ger Conlon no less. on the photy twice ! He had is pick taken at one end of the line of over 600 boys, scooted round the back and got in at the other end. What a character he was. He got strapped for that too by that hard lookin' Christian Brother in the center of the picture. All in black with his crucifix round his neck, not smiling just staring into the camera as if daring it to make him look anything but tough. Well tough he was sure enough, or so they say, broke many a young laddos pride, but not my Dah. My Dah broke his nose though, and several teeth.
 
Dah always said how it wasn't him that was nickin ' stuff from the school tuck shop an sellin' it to the other lads for less. He said he got his stuff from a proper thief who nicked from warehouses as the like, and sold it real cheap to my Dah. I think he was telin' the truth there, anyways it didn't matter, the headmaster caught him sellin'' stuff and said he was nickin' it as well. My Dah was summoned not to the study this time, but to assembly to be thrashed on the arse in front of the whole school. Now this was a rare enough thing, it never happened to me or any in my years at St. Josephs. You had to wear gym shorts and no underpants and it must have hurt fearful bad because lads cried after two strokes let alone six. Well me Dah, was at assembly, and was called up onto the stage. He was told to change into his shorts and he said 'No' ! That was it No says he. That was it the head came at him in a fury, aww these boyos would use fists and feet if they had too. My Dah wasn't brought up on the Falls Road for nothing and as the head came at him he side stepped and tripped him. You could have heard a pin drop in the hall by all accounts. As the head got up. my Dah hit him, breaking his nose with the first punch and several teeth with the second. Then he snapped the chain off heads neck and taking the crucifix as a trophy walked out the hall and school for ever.
 
He got sent to borstal for that. From there it was prison several times, all the while learning how to beat the system and make easy money.
 
Me I was different I studied pretty hard at school and went to University, I got into politics and one day I plan to stand as Sinn Fein candidate for Parliament. First though I have to clear some problems from my life. It's not as if the IRA don't want drugs at all , though that's what they say. I mean how do think they fund arm's purchases and the like ? No they run the drugs thing pretty well considering even paying off the RUC and Customs & Excise to look the other way. It's a business. Then there are the 'independents' who don't give a shite about the greater good but just want to line their own pockets. Like my Dah.
 
My Ma , now she see's things differently, 'You do whats right for Ireland son ', she says, 'And never my yer Dah, the worthless lump of shite, apart from you Sean not a moment's happiness have I had since I married him.'  I think to myself why she married him too, pregnant with my sister Fiona, forced by me Dah to have intercourse on the way home from their first date. Fiona got into drugs at 15, was an addict at 16 and dead at 18. Another 'independent' like Dah, was her supplier.
 
I killed him last month. We have to keep things organised in the IRA, no independents you see. As head of The Belfast No. 2 Brigade it's down to me to keep order. So now someone's after me Dah.
 
It's me.
 


First  Previous  2-14 of 14  Next  Last 
Reply
 Message 2 of 14 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamejaided01Sent: 9/28/2003 11:57 PM
nice writing Ock,,,,,,,about a subject I am still learning about. But I liked it.  Not sure if you're gonna continue with the story,,,,,,,,,

Reply
 Message 3 of 14 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameOcker�?Sent: 9/29/2003 12:24 AM
No Jaided .
 
Glad you liked it. Just rember it's all fiction, every word,                  mostly, could never happen in real life

Reply
 Message 4 of 14 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameIced-Gem�?/nobr>Sent: 9/29/2003 4:01 PM
I really liked this,  a good end to the tale, it's not a subject I would have normally read either  is there more?
 

Reply
 Message 5 of 14 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameZaxtrothSent: 9/30/2003 9:41 AM
Nice one Ocker
 
It is a bit of an inflammetry subject, but nothing was ever gained by not taking risks. I like the cold blooded attitude of the main character, it really comes across and sent a shiver down my spine. I would not like to meet this man. 

Reply
 Message 6 of 14 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameJìbbsSent: 9/30/2003 10:39 AM
I can see the narrator as clearly as if he's in front of me.
I like the way you've made him talk about death, rape and horror in a matter of fact way. I'm sure that's very representational.
 
 
 
<no silly smiley for this piece of writing..not appropriate>

Reply
 Message 7 of 14 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameOcker�?Sent: 9/30/2003 6:39 PM
No there is no more to this story, just like real life there never is an end. But if you want a philisophical point of view on life, love, happiness and the circle being unbroken, try this......
Sean kills his father, gets elected, becomes Secretary of State For Education in Northern Ireland.....................pure fiction, couldn't happen.
 
As much chance of a I.R.A. killer, and he if didn't kill his own father, he sure as hell killed someonels's, is there a difference? As much chance of a 'B' list movie star being elected President of The United States.
 
You see in a democracy you get the leaders you deserve.
 
I wrote that tale as an exercise in writing, what is interesting is that 2 of you wanted more. Above is reality.
 
Sean of course having killed his father, could have been killed himself, by another misguided zealot, maybe a Unionist. I have no end to this story for you, and worst of all I have no end to the bloody tragedy that goes on in N. I.
 
 
 

Reply
The number of members that recommended this message. 0 recommendations  Message 8 of 14 in Discussion 
Sent: 10/1/2003 9:33 PM
This message has been deleted due to termination of membership.

Reply
 Message 9 of 14 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameТrinitySent: 10/18/2003 4:43 AM
Ocker , this is a good one  ..
i'm trying to read as many stories as i can right now but my eyes are  from staring at the computer screen for too long..lol
-trini

Reply
 Message 10 of 14 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameEarth_KryygreSent: 10/20/2003 4:49 PM
trinity - you'd be even more  if you found my story from a few months ago...it was about Jack the Ripper and Iced loved it.
 
And BTW Ocker - y'r wrongwrongwrong - twas Francis Tumblety.

Reply
 Message 11 of 14 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameТrinitySent: 10/20/2003 4:51 PM
I am going to look for that right now ...

Reply
The number of members that recommended this message. 0 recommendations  Message 12 of 14 in Discussion 
Sent: 10/25/2003 8:20 PM
This message has been deleted due to termination of membership.

Reply
 Message 13 of 14 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameDMcCarthy1Sent: 11/16/2003 9:21 PM
Right Ock
I see it all, I'm from cork city

Reply
 Message 14 of 14 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameOcker�?Sent: 11/17/2003 2:31 AM
Ahhhhhh Jeezzuzmareenjosefff a Caaaark boyo, well god bless all here, the rebel county no less, we shot Micheal Collins one of our own just to show them Dubs we don't take no shite from anyone boyy.
 
'An if they can't hear us, we shout a little louder,
I'm from BEARA, MIGHTY MIGHTY ADRIGOLE '
 
 
In the shadow of Hungry Hill at the foot of the Tim Healey Pass, is where I lived, my father was known as 'The Wild Bere Island Boy', where he was born.  Me Grandmother was a Daly from Kanturk, and my Grandfather from Macroom. He built Furious Pier in Berehaven, now you don't get more Cork than that lol.
 
Actually I'm English but as you see I lived in Ireland, Whesttt Caaaark,  lol and me Dah God rest his soul was indeed born on Bere Island, so yea I do know a bit about the country .
 
Limerick Was , Dublin is, and Cork will be.
(The next capitol of Ireland)
 
Ever heard that expression ?

First  Previous  2-14 of 14  Next  Last 
Return to Creative writing