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| | (1 recommendation so far) | Message 1 of 2 in Discussion |
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Dear Heart.
The voice of an angel. I always wondered what was meant by that. Had we once heard the voice of an angel before birth and upon hearing a likeness had the memory come back somewhere deep within? Odd though, that it was before I heard your voice that I recognized it.
I dreamed of eyes that were so dazzling and free, deep and passionate... That only the ocean or the stars would be possible comparisons. Odd again that I knew that's what I would see in your eyes when you finally dared make eye contact.
I looked for a girl so strong I could be tamed yet so timid I would be a pillar of strength. So innocent at heart only a true soul could bring out the best. I looked for someone trapped inside the opinion of others, so I could free her with the words of encouragement. ...
Long ago I stopped looking. Like a candle light in a dark room, I seen you. In our first conversation I finished your sentences. The question you couldn't speak aloud I spoke for you. The answer you dreaded to hear but longed for so much, I gave. You said I was in your mind and it was unfair, the truth was my mind had paused, there was nothing to hear - which is why you thought you heard nothing. All my questions were answered, all my doubts on love rested, all my idea's on "the one" were gone.
My mind had paused, because with you I needed nothing else and nothing else mattered. I didn't care to hear the voices of others, the opinions of friends.
Worlds could explode and countries blow each other up... But as long as I was near you I didn't care.
You asked how I had this power of you... but it was you who had it over me. You asked for my past and we both knew you didn't want to hear it - yet you made me speak it. You knew I wouldn't leave you, you had to leave me and only then would I let you be. At first you lied but I seen straight through it. I could finish your sentences and you smirked at me knowing the truth, now I expect you were smiling at how naive you were for thinking you could lie.
Second you did the smallest form of cheating you knew would hurt me, but hurt the least and in a way I may be able to forgive. Funny thing was, my pain you knew before you told me and it hurt you twice as much before you spoke of it. You cried so much I wondered if you would be able to tell me... I almost smiled when you said it was just a dirty conversation on the phone. At that moment I didn't think I could love you more.
Third you told me of your ex, how he was hanging around. Knowing I could do nothing at the time I was eaten and you knew I would be. I could feel the pain it was causing you to do this and I didn't know why you were trying to break free so I went with it.
Fourth you told me of a guy you seen daily that reminded you of me, that you looked at him across the room with a smile on your face. This one was clever, it was a cursed compliment.
Finally you did an unspeakable. You answered the phone and whispered "this is not a good time" then giggled and hung up. You didn't answer the phone for the rest of the night. I knew then that it was over, not for you actions but for what you were trying to achieve.
I fought the monster inside for as long as I could, when finally he emerged I was lost. I did nothing to threaten you but I knew you would be scared. Not for your life or safety, not for mine either... but a fear you could never describe would soon be upon you and it would drown out the biggest fear you could ever have.
I have no other word to use except "made" but that itself is the wrong word, but still I will use it for now.
I made you promise that your faithfulness to me would be unwavering. Got you to confess the true deepness of your love. I caused you to cry for grief, happiness, loss, sadness, fear and remorse all at the same time. You made me three promises I knew you couldn't keep. I told you that to forfeit the promises would forfeit my life.
You knew I meant it and I gave you once last chance to walk away from me without making the promises.
...You made the promises... Promises we both knew you couldn't keep.
Finally I sighed, I let you go. I told you all your promises meant the world to me and I will not hold you to them. They were null and void. You were free. You gave me your soul with reluctance and I passed it back to you with regret.
I regret putting you through that...
... I will make it up to you. I promise you that.
Just like every other promise made to you. I will keep this one. I have kept them all and I have never lied to you about anything. I never could, I wouldn't have if I could. I couldn't break my promises to you, so much so I promised myself not to make you anymore promises... yet I always did.
My love will once again prove true, and if it's not returned... At least this time I can take my heart from you and give it to someone else.
Good bye My love... For now.... |
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| | From:  Jodie_3 | Sent: 12/20/2007 7:10 PM |
Very powerful  love it !  |
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