i have a guardian angel.
although i don't fully believe in them, at least not the way i do in the almighty.
you see, when i was a young girl of not yet 5 summers, i was approached by my angel, who proceeded to come over and place their "hand" upon my head.
this was the night my great grandfather died.
as for the angel, well, being a child of a tender age, i screamed my head off, making my mother come running from her room down the hall.
she saw this angel patting me on the head, then she said that it just "disappeared"!
all my life, at the back of my mind was the question - "WHY"?
what made me so special as to have my own guardian angel, one that felt that they had to give me a personal message? what was that message?
now i am finding myself rethinking these questions.
i am starting to believe that this angel was in fact not doing anything other than letting me know that they were leaving, and that it was going to be ok for me - that i was going to go through some tough stuff in my life, but i as not going to be alone - ever!
i must not have realized this, of course being so young, but now i am beginning to understand so much.
so i am now wondering how to change the way i am, i think and feel, to become who i want to be, who i am supposed to be?!
i know i have to become a better person, but honestly, how the heck do you do something of this magnitude without the skills already in place to do so?
i think i may have to finally ask for some guidance here - now that i am beginning to see that i am not alone, and never was!
i feel myself ready for whatever is happening to me. like i have been sleeping, or undercover for such a long time. now i can feel something good and wonderful pulling at me, making me want to go and be a part of it.
it is fascinating, this feeling, and the more i come to know about what it is, the more i come to realize the need for change.
ok, enough rambling for now.
i'm off to explore some post here,
eternalchoices 
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