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Big Brother : Big Brother Photocaps
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 Message 1 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLitaBonita  (Original Message)Sent: 7/16/2008 8:17 PM


I simply cannot believe we're only two episodes into Big Brother 10, and it's already this intense. Has this ever happened? My heart was racing I was so excited with all the twists and turns that took place over this second hour of the season. Renny has quickly jumped to the top of my favorites list ?I love her spunk, not to mention the fact that she's not afraid to mouth off to that little punk Jessie. What a douche he's rapidly turning into. Well, we knew he was a bitch after the first episode, but man, between his eye rolling at the fairly relevant (if long winded) King Solomon story and his continued whining about being on the block (not to mention the crotch grabbing and general piss-poor attitude), he's really become quite awful.

The real villain, however, has turned out to be Brian ?a snake if there ever was one. Watching him trying to arrogantly mastermind the house has been frustrating at times, but thanks to Libra (also shooting to the top of my list), it looks like his days might (but not necessarily!) be numbered. She's one smart cookie, and watching her kick into game mode was both exhilarating and scary. She whipped April into shape with the sort of stern authority that might bite her in the ass later on. And speaking of April, her burgeoning showmance with Ollie has already proven to be quite the excellent development. No, not because I care about their late night nookie sessions, but because it yielded the first major conflict of the season. Thanks to his conflicted feelings (bros before hos? Hos before bros? What's an Ollie to do?), he wound up ratting out his entire alliance, causing a massive power shift in the game.

In short, this episode was thrilling. The only thing more riveting was the ensuing episode of Big Brother After Dark. I won't give anything away, but let's just say it involved a cat fight, several variations of the phrase "Fuck that fucking barbie-ass bitch!" and an unfortunate enema misunderstanding.

Big Brother is back!

On to the photocap...

"Do you mind if I just hang out up here a little bit and whine?"

"Michelle, I'm missing Matlock right now, and you people have to figure out how to fix that."

"Why does King Samuel want to tear a baby in half? And what does that have to do with me? I hate old people. I wish he would stop talking so I could whine."

"You know, if it weren't for Renny, I wouldn't have had to go upstairs and listen to Jerry's stupid story about Salieri or whatever his name was."

"Amazing. Not a single person has complimented me on my costume from Soapdish."

"I hate stairs. I wouldn't have even had to have walked up and down these stairs if it weren't for Renny getting me nominated. And she hasn't even apologized!"

"So, Renny, do you have anything to say? I mean, I'm not going to listen, but if you'd like to say something, by all means say it."

"I just totally masturbated. But it's cool. I can confess about it after the show."

"So wait... What you people are telling me is that I won't be able to watch Matlock the entire time that I'm here?"

"I'm bored. Maybe if Renny hadn't put me in this situation, I wouldn't be bored. She should apologize about that."

"That's a pretty crazy hat, Ollie. I mean, not Portuguese crazy. But pretty crazy nonetheless."

"I'm totally in control of this house. I have a pretty good sense about these things. You know, the same sense that told me to wear this hat that was cool (but not really) three years ago."

"Memphis, what if I told you I could assure you safety on week eight? Would you be down for that? Because I'm pretty much calling the shots."

"I never trust a man who doesn't wear his name in big letters on his shirt."

"Ollie, I know how to handle men... and this pillow."

"That's right. I wouldn't put you up. But I probably will."

"My name's April, and I know how to handle HONEY."

"What's goin' awn heeyah? I'm covah'd in honey! What's goin' awn??"

"That honey was so wicked heavy, I wanted to punch it in its wicked kissah."

"What's goin' awn heeyah? I can't foind my teddy bears. What's goin' awn?"

"This is so sticky. I hate this. I wouldn't even have to be in this stupid competition if it weren't for Renny. And she hasn't even apologized yet!"

"It's very important to me that I don't intimidate anyone with my physique. So when I tear my shirt off ostentatiously, I'll only growl a little bit."

"I am soooo about to do the whatever! - loser! combo on you."

"Must... destroy... Brian..."

"I just don't want you to think I'm an idiot. I can handle men, okay?"

"Stop crying before I slap you."

"Crying? The only ones who'll be crying are the men -- after I HANDLE them!"

"Everyone just calm down. I don't want to have to poke you with my pointy nipples."

"Yup. I'm still bland."

"I don't like the way that ottoman is looking at me."

"What did I miss? Did somebody punch someone in the wicked kissah?"

"Let's see... after I win the Power of Veto in week five, who should I put up?"

"As you people can see, I'm not wearing any military gear today because I wouldn't want to disgrace the Armed Forces..."

"That's right, I never ever want to embarrass the military."

"I don't understand. The plan was for me to NOT get nominated. Hmmm... I'll have to tell the producers to undo this."

First  Previous  20-34 of 34  Next  Last 
 Message 20 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSmigChickSent: 7/23/2008 6:58 PM
WTF does this even mean?

"Between him and Renny, I've never seen so many glorious senior sound effects captured on one show."

Renny's only 50 freakin' years old, isn't she? Hardly a "senior."

Are young people just that much more stupid these days than when I was a kid? We always saw "senior citizens" as people 65 and older. And we have longer life spans I seriously don't get who the fuck writes this drivel, but it kinda pisses me off when you stop to think how many people reading it are stupid enough to just accept that as fact.

Jessie: "Man, it's too early to be reading this. I wouldn't have even been this tired if Renny hadn't kept me awake so late a week ago."


"I can't believe no one complimented me on my Karate Kid outfit."

Haha, I hadn't even noticed that until now, and it's true!

"I think this podium's been talking about me behind my back. I knew I shouldn't have stood at it. It's such a stupid bitch!"

Seriously lmao!

OK, this is the best one yet: "You don't understand. I'm the victim here. I'm the one who had to wait TWENTY FOUR HOURS for Steven to come upstairs and look at pictures of me. Do you know how disrespectful that is? I don't think you do. TWENTY-FOUR HOURS! That's like five days!!!"

Some of these are absolutely hilarious!!

 Message 21 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLitaBonitaSent: 7/23/2008 8:09 PM
I was thinking he was playing off of Libra and her old talk. I am sure he will be sticking with the Senior Citizen thing the rest of the season. lol

 Message 22 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameRoel  Sent: 7/23/2008 11:33 PM
LMBO! @ You said that I said that you said that I said that you said. LOL!!!

 Message 23 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSmigChickSent: 7/24/2008 2:24 AM
What the.... I thought I responded to Lita. LOL
Oh well.
I hope that's the point. It didn't seem like it, but I hear so much ageism all the time maybe I'm misreading it.
I can see making such comments about Jerry - even though I don't agree with them - cuz he really is a senior. But Renny....well, she's an idiot. She's a weirdo. She's a shit-stirrer. But she's not a senior.
I want to call her "Remmy". I don't know why, lol.
Yes, Roel, that was hilarious, wasn't it? I should watch that argument again, cuz all the "I said" "You said" "No, he said, then you said"...that was really funny stuff. Man, Libra was all riled up, wasn't she? LOL

 Message 24 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameRoel  Sent: 7/24/2008 7:02 AM
Yeah, she was.

And it was hilarous.
Then Libra goes, "I didn't say you were slow and old."
And Renny goes, "....You better not!!!"


 Message 25 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLitaBonitaSent: 7/28/2008 7:07 PM
I totally missed last night's episode but thanks to the photocap I'm all caught up. :)
Sunday, July 27 Photocaps


Well, it's time for another Big Brother photocap. Sadly, by press time, CBS still hadn't posted pics from Wednesday's live eviction episode, which means we'll just have to move on to Sunday's show. That's okay though. There was plenty of good stuff to mock in this latest episode ?specifically the HI-larious food competition, which proved to be one of the funniest ever, thanks to Renny who released her inner crow yet again. Watching her screaming and stumbling in a haze of confusion was nothing short of glorious. Add some frantic behavior from April (not to mention Michelle's New England accent and Jerry's hoarse screams), and we had a real doozy of a competition. Mind you, it wasn't exciting in the least, but man was it hilarious.

Sadly, CBS didn't really post any pictures of Renny struggling with the socks; so my mockery/love of her will be regrettably limited this week. Oh well.

Aside from the food competition, there were plenty of interesting things this episode. First, Keesha's bizarre nomination process. After spending a whole episode deciding between Libra and Memphis to go on the block she went with... Jessie? Hey, I'm all for it, and I get that maybe the producers wanted to throw us a fast one, but that really came out of left field. Whatever. Hopefully the whiney muscle man will go home ?if only for the way he happily volunteered his supposed ally, Dan, to be nominated.

As for April and Ollie (Opril? Allie? Aollie? Aioli?), we learned that Ollie gets scared in relationships and equates the experience to driving headlong into a construction zone on the highway, which is apparently his biggest fear. Granted, he's not afraid of driving off the highway or even crashing. No, he just hates the orange cones. And maybe cement trucks. I don't know. It was a very complicated metaphor.

Nevertheless, photocap after the jump...

"Oh well. Sucks for Steven."

"In other news, I'm now a cholo."

"My name's April, and I know how to handle a new Head of Household!"

"Don't worry, Libra. You know you're my girl."

"Libra's such a bitch."

"I'm sorry, Jerry. I just totally farted."

"This letter from home says that my dog just pissed on his first fire hydrant. I'M MISSING SO MUCH!!"

"I can't believe my dog didn't even sign this letter with a paw print. I should have never made an alliance with him."

"My name's April, and I know how to handle an entrance!"

"April, this is between us, and us only. You can't go tell anyone else about my plans. Now, excuse me ?I have to go tell everyone else about my plans."

"If there's construction going on inside this room, I'm gonna freak."

Ollie: "This plan sounds like it still needs a lot of building, and you know what that means: CONSTRUCTION."

"I don't care what any of you say. I am not related to Dick Donato."

"I wonder if anyone knows how hard it is to be this bland."

"Just so you know, Memphis, I can put my hand on my head too, okay? Stop doubting me."

"It's so wicked hawt in here I'm sweatin' through my undahwears."

"So you're saying this is my nose? No. I don't believe you."

"I'm the king of the world!"

"My name's April, and I know how to handle polka dots!"

"Okay, I got a red sock! A red sock. Well, the dominant color is white, but it's still a RED sock!!!"

"MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! I couldn't find the GOLD SAWK! WITH THE MONKEY AWN ON IT!!! It's like my brain was locked. IT'S LOCKED!!!!"

"My name's April, and I know how to handle signage metaphors!"

"We're all a work in progress. It's like we're under construction, and if there's anything I hate, it's CONSTRUCTION."

"Hmmm... I think I just saw a sign that said 'Let's DO IT.'"

"What do you mean I'm not still HOH? I'm Mr. Natural Iowa 2008. Of course I'm still HOH."

"Maybe if I hide behind these boxes, I'll be able to eavesdrop on every HOH conversation. No one will ever see me! EVER!"

"I wonder what happiness feels like."

"I can't believe Keesha's making me sit in this hammock. I've been here for practically TWENTY FOUR HOURS!"

"I just want to eat pigs feet 'til my undahwears burst."

"Angie, I've nominated you because I've arbitrarily decided you're the reason why Steven was evicted ?based on no real evidence or logic, really."

"Am I free to whine now?"

 Message 26 of 34 in Discussion 
From: Jnp9Sent: 7/28/2008 11:52 PM

 Message 27 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameKittyMarthaPooSent: 7/30/2008 3:23 PM
Lita, I don't know where you get these, but they're HILARIOUS!!! Please continue posting them

 Message 28 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLitaBonitaSent: 7/31/2008 5:32 PM
I guess he didn't do one for the last episode. Booooooo

 Message 29 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLitaBonitaSent: 8/4/2008 4:52 PM
Here is the one from last Tuesday


Apologies for having a late Big Brother photocap. has been a bit screwy with the screen caps, and while in the past they've always had the pics up about an hour after the latest episode airs here in the west, this season, they've been a bit unreliable. Plus, after all that waiting, they didn't even put up any good shots from the Memphis-Jerry fight. Speaking of which, I guess Memphis isn't so unemotional after all. Something tells me that Jerry's "womanizer" comment touched a nerve that perhaps informs us a bit about Memphis's absent-during-childhood dad. Hmmm... How very Prince of Tides.

Nevertheless, I would have liked a bit more clarity on that fight. What was this incident that Jerry referred to where Memphis was disrespectful of him? And where did their rivalry come from? I loved the way Jerry handled himself during that clash, even if he was being quite judgmental. Hey, he's an old guy. That's what they do. Memphis probably could've used a chill pill. I enjoyed how after the fight Mems warned, "Call me a womanizer again and see what happens!" I really wish Jerry had said "womanizer" again. Would Memphis have punched him? Because that would have been hilarious ?a young guy punching an old man. And while I'm still on this topic, why did Memphis act like the this was the first time he'd heard the "womanizer" comment when clearly he had already learned about it earlier? I mean, Memphis brought it up. He really shouldn't have been so surprised.

Aside from the Battle of MemJer, this episode was remarkable for the desperation of poor Jessie, who gloriously fell into a paranoid haze after being nominated. The idiot tried to convince Keesha to take him off the block by a) saying everything over-dramatically, b) leaning over as if he were doing squats, and c) employing tired cliches and forced metaphors. In other words, it was hilarious. I appreciated his mangling ("toe to head"), his bizarreness ("blow a shockwave through the water") and his general lack of creativity ("I didn't come here to make friends," "It's a dog eat dog world"). Most of all, I welcomed his new signature metaphor: "I'M IN JAIL!!!" Yes, Jessie, you are in jail ?a lifetime prisoner at the California Correctional Facility for IDIOTS. Too bad Keesha is too self-involved to really care about his feelings. When she unnecessarily announced to the house that she had given her word to Libra, I couldn't help rolling my eyes. I mean, it feels like every episode Keesha has to gather everyone around and proclaim something VERY important about herself ("I'm loyal!" "Don't talk behind my back!" "I miss my dog!"). ENOUGH.

Anyway, on to the photocap...

"They were factual reasons. They made no sense, but they were factual."

"It's Libra's fault that I'm nominated! She forced me to nominate Steven. Granted, I'm a grown man who can make my own decisions, and granted, she was one among several people who told me to vote out Steven, but... but... I WANT MY JUICE BOX!!!"

"When I get out of here, I'm gonna go to Bennigans every single day for every single meal. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. Mmmmhmmmm... It'll be all Bennigans, all the time. Can't wait!"

"Memphis doesn't take off his hat when talking to women. You know why, don't you? 'Cause he's a womanizer."

"Don't you see? It's LIBRA'S FAULT that I wore red today! I was going to wear green, but she made me wear red!!!"

"Don't you see how serious I am? Every inch of me is serious, from toe to head!"

"Why aren't you listening to me? I'm bending over completely!!! Isn't that convincing enough??? I'M IN JAIL!!!"

"My name's April, and I know how to handle fatigue!"

"Is this what happiness looks like?"

"It's like I'm in flower jail."

"I'm so gonna do this to April later on."

"UGH. I hate worms. But I gave them my word. DAMMIT!"

"I don't know what compost is, but if it's anything like construction, I'm gonna hate it!!!"

"Hahaha, this is kind of funny. Hahaha. It tickles. Hahahha. It tickles a lot. Hahahahahhaa I'm in TICKLE JAIL!!!"

"This is totally Libra's fault. And Renny's too."

"You guys don't understand. I was covered toe to head in there for TWENTY FOUR HOURS!"

"Here's the thing. I don't even know what happiness feels like."

"Wait, what is this feeling? It feels sort of nice. And this look on my face? Why is my mouth doing this? WHAT IS IT? SOMEONE HELP ME!!!"

"So it turns out if you pinch April's titties like this, she giggles like Minnie Mouse."

"I don't think you understand. Look at me. This is what happens to me in jail. Got it?"

"Shall I continue whining, or have I made my point? Because I can keep whining if you want. I'd kind of like it, actually."

"Hey guys. It's been about six hours since I unnecessarily proclaimed something to house; so I thought I'd give it another whirl. Is everyone ready? Okay good."

"These chess pieces are so disrespectful to me. They haven't even said thank you to me for playing with them."

"I gotta fix my microphone. It's getting tangled in my undahwears."

"When I tell them about the bannah, they're gonna crap their undahwears. What a wicked pissah."



 Message 30 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLitaBonitaSent: 8/5/2008 5:38 PM

"Are you threatened by my deviant wave goodbye?"

As usual, dragged their feet when it came to putting up screen caps from last week's live eviction episode. I was just going to skip the whole thing and move onto Sunday's show, but then I saw some of the photos, and as usual, I couldn't resist making fun. Enjoy...

(A photocap of Sunday's episode will be forthcoming.)

"Being the rationalized person that I am, I took this shirt off because it was disrespecting me, from toe to head."

"Michelle, what does happiness feel like?"
"Like a big bowl of wicked awesome pigs feet."

"Sometimes when I cry, I turn into Montana Moorehead from Soapdish. Now get outta here. All of yous."

"The power changes every week. And that's the truth. (Note my military hat)."

"You wanna talk smack about Matlock? FINE! But don't think I'm gonna sit here and TAKE IT!!!!"


"All I'm saying about Matlock is that he's just a brain. I'm a body AND a brain. I think that deserves some respect."

"Okay, first of all, I subscribe to O Magazine; so you don't have to tell ME about Oprah's favorite things, mmkay?"

"These live shows make me so nervous, I always think I'm gonna crap my undahwears."

"When will I be loved?"

"I just want to say that I'm covering up a massive boner right now. I think you should all respect me for that."

"Fuck everyone in this house. I'm starting an alliance with this bench."

"An endurance challenge? Why I oughtttaaaa..."

"Um, excuse me, camera man? My face is up here, mmkay?"

"My name's April, and I know how to handle dust."

"MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! IT'S A FAKE EARTHQUAKE!!! We're rattling like someone's trying to open a door, but IT'S LOCKED!!!"

 Message 31 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLitaBonitaSent: 8/6/2008 3:58 PM


Sunday's episode of Big Brother was entertaining, but truth be told, it was nothing compared to Friday's Big Brother After Dark. Without giving too much away, the entire house pretty much devolved into an insane fight, replete with yelling, screaming, and a random birthday party in the middle. Hopefully it will all be detailed on tonight's Big Brother episode. Unfortunately, the clash will most likely be reduced down to a mere ten or twenty minutes when in actuality, it lasted over two hours. This might be a good thing though, as anyone who watched the raw footage had to contend with Libra declaring "My feelings were HURT!" over and over and over again. Seriously, I'm gonna have to make a montage. (For a good take on the Friday night events, click here)

Nevertheless, while we steel ourselves for tonight's show, let's take a look back at Sunday's calm-before-the-storm activity via a photocap!

"MARY! ST. JOSEPH! We're locked in competition! WE'RE LOCKED!!!"

"Don't lose your cool, Jessie. Stay rationalized..."

"I ain't nevah lettin' go. It's like my hands are locked to this pole. MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! THEY'RE LOCKED!!!"

"I already told you: the only people who don't wear v-necks are womanizers and bartenders ?and I'm NEITHER!!!"

"MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! My muscles are locking up. THEY'RE LOCKED!!!!"

"Hey Memphis, I'm lookin' at your undahwears."

Libra: "All I'm saying is that when I fell off that wall, my feelings were hurt, okay? Gravity hurt my feelings."
Keesha: "You know what? Fuuuuck you, gravity! I hate that fuckin' bitch. Let's vote it out of the house."

"America, I'm ready to do whatever you want me to do!"

"Except explain evolution."

"I wonder if I can have sex with this wall..."

"If any of yous outlast me, I'm gonna crap my undahwears."

"My name's April, and I know how to handle a kind-of-boring competition!"

"Okay, Ollie. I'm ready."

"We're gonna DO IT."

"This competition is wicked crazy. Or should I say, wicked Portuguese. It's the same thing, really."

"My name's April, and I know how to handle flexibility!"

"My name's April, and I know how to handle a post-challenge hug-fest!"

"Hey Ollie. Let's DO IT right here!"

"Now I know how Tawm Brady felt. It's wicked awful. Somebody get me some watah!"

"My name's April, and I know how to handle spacing out!"

"When April won that competition instead of me, I'm not gonna lie. My feelings were HURT!"

"I don't give a fuck about that fuckin' bitch anymore; so FUCK her, that fuckin' barbie bitch!!!"

"I swear to God I'm gonna stab five people tonight."

"Sometimes I wish I had a v-neck that would just go down to my navel. That would be the best."

"I'm so sick of people telling me who I can hang out with in this house. This pillow is my new friend and THAT'S THAT!"

"I'm not a womanizer or anything, but do you want to have sex?"


"My name's April, and I know how to handle a nomination process."

"Ollie and I are totally gonna DO IT on this key box."

"MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! You're safe! This ain't a real key though. It doesn't open any LOCKS!!!"


"Well, nominated again. Looks like my strategy of being a total jackass worked!"

 Message 32 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLitaBonitaSent: 8/6/2008 10:45 PM
Tuesday. LOL


There are Big Brother episodes and then there are BIG BROTHER episodes, and Tuesday's installment was the latter. Ranking as one of the best ever in the series' ten season history, the latest show featured one of the most ridiculous (yet ridiculously wonderful) fights of all time. It was all so petty, and yet that's what made it so spectacular. Everything stemmed from Libra having a bruised ego over basically nothing at all. When April got nervous that her nominations might not stay the same after the veto comp, Libra took that as a personal attack on her character and ability. Why? Well, she's a bit of drama queen. From there, everything just got out of control. Libra bitched to Keesha, and Keesha, never one to be second-fiddle in the drama department, took the opportunity to go off on April. Soon everyone was yelling at everyone (including Renny, whose "It's INAPPROPRIATE!!" line has become an instant classic), and in one of the most surreal, memorable, and absolutely hilarious interludes in reality TV history, the entire drama came to a total standstill as everyone paused to sing "Happy Birthday" to Keesha. I've never seen anything like it.

This actually constituted the third time I'd seen the big fight, as I'd watched it twice before on Big Brother: After Dark. I gotta say hearing a censored Keesha sort of neutered the fun a bit, but what the telecast lacked in F-Bombs, it more than made up for with the sort of fun editing that made the whole thing feel fresh again. Unfortunately, the editors omitted one of Libra's best lines of the night ?a rant about how Jessie's tactics had failed on seasons one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight... AND NINE TOO! (I'll post a video later, perhaps) ?nbsp;and there were some hilarious Renny noises ("WHO? WHO?") that also didn't make the cut, but again, there was so much action in this episode, I understand that the editors couldn't keep everything.

And that's the thing: beyond just the blow-up, there was still so much more. Dan, the affable America's Player, was hilarious in his fifteen second hug with Jessie. And April was amazingly flighty as she first insisted that the nominations stay the same (thus spurring on the night's drama), and then when she had the chance to steal the veto, she passed it up for some cash. So all that fighting was essentially for nothing. Oh, what a sad commentary on humanity Big Brother makes.

Then there was Michelle. Oh Michelle. I did feel bad for her when she got screwed out of her Hawaii prize, but it was worth it to see her go all Montana Moorehead on the producers, bizarrely opting to show only her back to the camera as some strange protest of all things unitard. She claimed she didn't want to be made an ass out of on national television, but I wasn't sure how showing us her backside would resolve that concern. Nevertheless, her rant was worth price of admission alone ?nbsp;a glorious cherry on an already overflowing sundae of an episode.

So without further ado, here's the photocap...

"You want to see some drama in this house? Okay, I'll show you some motherfuckin' drama."

"Just because I'm handling jugs and pouring drinks does NOT mean that I'm a womanizer. OR A BARTENDER!!!"

"Let's see. It's been one hour since I last took off my shirt, but TWO hours since I've gotten any respect..."

"Dan, don't feel blue. You've got to stay committed to the game, from toe to head!"

"Dan, I'm not just a body. I'm a brain. And my body AND my brain are both telling me that you shouldn't do anything irrationalized."

"I just keep having these nightmares that Hillary Clinton is our president!"

"I got you, buddy. It's okay. Just hug my large, shredded, 100% natural back."

"Great! I got picked to play in the veto competition! But I wasn't picked first, and now my feelings are hurt."

"You know what? I'm gonna get mad over nothing at all and embroil the entire house in a night of fighting! And you know why? BECAUSE MY FEELINGS ARE HURT FOR NO REASON!!!"

"I'm not sure if I've mentioned this, but my feelings were hurt."

"What's that I hear? The sound of disrespect?"

"Hey guys, I just want to say that Libra and Keesha were screaming and firing guns at small animals downstairs."

"Listen, I don't think you understand something. I was woken up from a VERY LIGHT TO NO SLEEP!"

"Um, Jessie? Could you please leave? Ollie and I are about to DO IT."

"My name's April, and I know how to handle Ollie's trivia!"

"And let me tell you something else: my feelings were HURT!"

"April, here's the thing. Maybe I haven't articulated it yet, but MY FEELINGS WERE HURT!"

"But Libra, you're forgetting something: my name's April, and I know how to handle hurt feelings!"

You know what? I fuckin' hate this chair, always sitting there when I walk by. No, that's fucked up. FUCK YOU, CHAIR! You stupid fuckin' bitch!"

"MARY! ST. JOSEPH!!! I can't open the door. IT'S LOCKED!!!"

"Guys, seriously. Seriously. I just want to say something to maybe clear the air, okay? MY FEELINGS WERE GODDAMN HURT!"

"What am I doing? I'm using The Secret to make lasers come out of my eyeballs! C'mon, POSITIVE THOUGHTS!"

"Listen, I just overheard Memphis saying BEEP BEEP!!! HOOooonk!!

"Jerry, if you don't start speaking English, my feelings are gonna get hurt."


"I don't think you understand. I was awake with my eyes closed, and you made me open them."

"You're lying, Libra. You're so deviant, from toe to head."

"I actually really like this kitchen. It's my new favorite room in the house..."

"FUCK THIS KITCHEN! I fuckin' hate this fuckin' room, the fuckin' son of a bitch!"

"Listen, I'm sorry for being respectful and rationalized and 100% natural, but if that's a crime, well, then I guess I'm just guilty as charged. From toe to head."

"I really thought I'd get a bigger piece of the birthday cookie. Now my feelings are hurt."

"Effin' Jerry, callin' me a womanizer. I'm too BLAND to be a womanizer!"


"MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! It's a uniform from Foot Locker! It's a LOCKER!!!"

"My name's April, and I know how to handle memories of The Mighty Ducks."

"Damn, I was really hoping for a v-neck, but all I got was this stupid veto."

"I did wicked awful. And here I thought I'd do bettah than all of yous."

"What is it? Pigs feet? Chowdah? New undahwears?"

"So I says, 'I won trip to Hawaii!?! Just think of all that beautiful blue wataah!' I sweah on Bawston, I nearly crapped my undahwears."

"MARY! ST. JOSEPH! You gotta stop talking over me when I read the instructions. IT'S INAPPROPRIATE!!!!"

"My name's April, and I know how to handle a slap shot."

"So after igniting a firestorm when I fretted that I wouldn't be able to preserve my nominations, I've decided to ignore the veto and just take this cash. This way Ollie can DO ME on a bed of gold bars!"

"I could punch Libra right in the kissah."

"When Michelle gave me the stink eye after I stole her prize, I'm not gonna lie. My feelings were hurt."

"Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean my feelings aren't hurt, CBS."

"A LEOTAAAHD? A LEOTAAAHD? I'd prefer a bowl of chowdah and a glass of wataah before a LEOTAAHD!!!"

"Don't talk to me, Jessie. I'm about to crap my undahwears."

 Message 33 of 34 in Discussion 
From: Jnp9Sent: 8/7/2008 12:11 AM
THIS IS THE FACE i was tlkaing about lol

 Message 34 of 34 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLitaBonitaSent: 8/26/2008 3:53 AM
They haven't been so great but this one, from Sunday, is a HOOT!


Here's the photocap from last night. I had to abbreviate it though because I'm at an airport and about to board! Enjoy what I have so far!!

"I came into this house to do two things: win $500,000 and womanize as many people as possible, preferably while wearing this V-Neck."

"This vine is gettin' all up in my undahwears."

"I could really go for some wa-tah. It would restoah my powah."

"This better be over quickly. You never know when a sparrow might come flying by."

"My name's April, and I know how to handle desaturated colors. Now, Ollie, DO ME in the key slot."


"Is that a bird down there? It is! It's a falcon! IT'S A FALCON!!! Oh wait, it's just a leaf."

"If I stay up here much longah, I'm gonna have to piss in my undahwears."

"I'll show all yous my stomach, but none of yous are gonna see my undahwears. None of yous!"

"I fuckin' hate that vine. I never should have fuckin' given it my fuckin' word. Fuuuuuuck you, VINE!"

"I want all yous to know that whoevah threw that ballon at my face is gonna get it in the kissah! Ain't none of yous safe!"

"The only reason I threw the balloon at Michelle is because it called me a womanizer. AND a bartender!"

"I'm gonna womanize this vine."

Keesha: "I'm so fuckin' SICK of this fuckin' competition!"
Michelle: "If aw-LEE doesn't win, I'm gonna crap my undahwears"
Renny: "You gals bettah not push me off this bench. It's INAPPROPRIATE!"

"Sorry Dan. I'm not making any deals until you promise to keep all crows, robins, and penguins away from the backyard."

"I told Ollie I would single-handedly strangle every parakeet in a three-mile radius."

"That's not a robot pigeon, is it? Oh, never mind. It's a camera."

Keesha: "I fuckin' hate this hoodie. I never should have given it my word."
Michelle: "Win the powah, aw-Lee. Win the powah!"
Renny: "Ollie win? YOU BETTA NOT!"

"And I want to save April too. It's not too late for that, right?"

"Hey Renny, check it out. I'm from the old country. I'm a babushka. Get it? Get it? Eh..."

"The only fuckin' thing I trust in this house is this fuckin' Triscuit. I'm taking it to the end."

"Dan gave yous what?? Did you crap your undahwears???"

"I don't like Dan's plan. It makes me just want to take all his shirts and rip them into v-necks!"

"UGH. Even the THOUGHT of all those Democrats together in Denver is making my head hurt."

"I gotta hand it to Dan, his offer was crazy. Like, Portuguese crazy. What a wicked pissah."

"MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! Answer mah question, Dan! It's like your brain is locked. IT'S LOCKED!!!"

"You know what? I thought I was in a fuckin' alliance with these fuckin' Triscuits, but then I saw fuckin' APRIL staring at them in her picture. So fuuuuuck you, Triscuits! I've fuckin' always hated you!!"

"I would never wear a shirt that says 'Taken.' But that's because I'm a WOMANIZER."

"Dan, I want you to be honest with me: is my v-neck a tad too small?"

"HOOOoonkk if you like my crotch."

"I don't know about all yous, but I think Jerry's crotch is wicked sexy. I bettah not you-know-what in my undahwears."

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