Hi Kelly,
it is very cool that you have quit!
I am sorry you are experiencing a rough period at the moment. However, isn't it great that the last traces of nicotine are leaving your system as we speak, and that you are slowly saying goodbye to something that "belonged to you" for so long? You are writing you suspect that it is the change of lifestyle that makes it so hard for you at the moment. Yes, your soul is healing, too. Give it a chance. It takes a little time.
It doesn't take forever, though: Thank God, the process of adapting to life without nicotine is only temporary. Otherwise no-one in their right mind would stay quit! Believe me, you will soon feel different. Soon, you will be just you, without (lack of) nicotine commanding your ways and actions. Being quit feels good and strong, and it lasts forever if you simply NTAP.
It is a pity that you relapsed back then. There is a big difference, though: Back then, you did not know what you do know now. You write that you hope you will not make the same mistake again. You cannot simply fall into that trap again: Now you know how to remain smoke-free: NTAP is the key.
Of course, stress can cause an urge to smoke, and if you fixate on a "good cigarette now", it can get rather difficult to get yourself out of the hole you dug for yourself.
However strong the urge is though, it cannot make you go back to smoking unless your hand picks up a cigarette, puts it into your mouth, then picks up a lighter and sets the end of the cigarette on fire. Then, you would need to inhale... You see: Plenty of time to say: "OK, I want one now. But I am not going to have one. And that's that." Say no!
Do you still carry cigarettes around? Don't! Throw them right now, crumble them to a thousand pieces and chuck them.
You will be just fine. Keep it going, ten days is a big investment. It would have been for nothing if you relapsed. Wishing you calmer waters from now on!
PinkFlowers
Chucked her last pack on 2 March 2005