Bolivar,
Wanting to quit is not quitting nor is trying to quit the same as quitting. A basic premise which when said to oneself sound silly but is a basic truth that we who have quit have come to understand is this
In order to quit smoking you have to quit smoking.
People will try every kind of snake oil on the market in order to avoid "the pain" of quitting. The pain of quitting is NOTHING in comparison to the pain of continuing to smoke. There are some things you should know. It may be difficult, but you can control the difficulty to a degree with a positive attitude. Don't look at this as though you are making a sacrifice when you quit. You are not giving up smoking you are throwing it away. Cigarette smoking is a delivery method for a drug named nicotine. The way to quit nicotine in your case is to quit smoking, the way to quit smoking is to never take another puff - no matter what.
If you want to know how we were able to accomplish this you should be reading all of the material on whyquit.com. Knowledge is your best defense and indeed your best offense. Don't consider yourself a victim, "Somebody help me." Take control, make the decision, quit now.