Hi Lucinda,

first of all: massive congrats to you for having stopped using nicotine for nearly a month now! I hope you really are proud of yourself!!

Isn't it great to see our parents being overjoyed when they realise that we really mean it? I still remember my parents' reactions when they saw me for the first time as a non-practising addict last Christmas. I had always known that my Mum (never-smoker) would be over the moon because she had been asking me to stop or trying to make me see sense ever since she found out that I had started to smoke. The real surprise, though, was my Dad - he is going to be 76 in a couple of weeks and I have only ever known him as a heavy smoker. He was and is really proud of me.

A side-note, which is not too happy: when I stayed with them last time (they live in Germany, I live in England), he wanted to show me that he would not have a problem at all with stopping to smoke. I told him everything about the "one puff", about how he would have his body nicotine free in 72 hours and the most important thing: that once he had achieved that, all he would have to do is to NTAP. He did surprise me ... three days and he did not take one single puff. Whenever I asked him how he was feeling, he said "okay". Well, I had to leave on the third day and I told him that I was ever so proud of him. The next day when I rang to tell them we had arrived home safely and I asked him how the "non-smoking" was going, he said "hmmm, well, actually, I have had just one yesterday" --- his "excuse": our leaving. As far as I can tell, he is up to his old level again but he is still saying that he will quit one day. I hope he will.

Unfortunately, he does not like reading at all - so all I can hope for is that Joel will one of these days appear on a German TV-programme. He - my Dad, that is, not Joel -  also has not yet come to the realisation that he is a real and true addict, too.

Your Dad, on the other hand, is very keen to stop feeding his body nicotine and I just know that he will.

Joel did write this to a member of Freedom who had broken free of another addiction before he quit nicotine and I think it might be very encouraging for your Dad to read this:

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"Whenever I learn that a person has dealt with other addictions over his or her lifetime I like to make a few comments addressing how he or she should use his or her understanding and insights on dealing with the other addictions and aim it straight at smoking and nicotine addiction. In some ways it is a little harder for people who have a past drug history, since cigarettes are often used as a crutch to get off the other drug. While they may have a little harder time initially quitting, they are often more successful than average, because these are people who understand addiction and how to effectively deal with it. In a sense, they have a program and understanding already in place, it is just a matter of directing all of their insights straight at nicotine.

Here are a few articles to read on the topic:

Crutches to Quit Smoking

Nicotine vs. Heroin

You Smoke Because You're A Smoke-a-holic!

Some new findings on Nicotine Addiction

The Law of Addiction

Also check out the articles on the Addiction section of our board.

The way to stay in control over this addiction is the same as any other, which is to just stick to your commitment to never administer the drug again, which is as simple as sticking to your commitment to yourself to never take another puff!

Joel"

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Just three more articles that I think your Dad also might like to read are

I had quit thousands of times, then ...
I have tried everything to quit and nothing works!
Top 10 reasons that quits fail

Lucinda, you are a great example for your Dad and I hope he joins us all soon in living a nicotine free life.

Gitte
385 days and a bit