You wrote that you are concerned about your husband and that you want him to lose weight as well as stopping smoking. Angie, as hard as it might be to accept (but I think deep down you know that already) nobody but your husband can take steps to address his health issues. He would not lose his self-respect by stopping to feed his body nicotine - he would get it back.
You are also wondering why your educated husband continues to smoke ... well, he
smokes and continues to do so for one simple reason: like all of us, he is
a smoke-a-holic! Nicotine addiction does not care what job we have, how much education we were lucky enough to receive ... if we are
lucky, we get hooked! Then you are concerned about the fact that your husband might get cancer. What about yourself? Would you like to increase your chances of getting cancer yourself by continuing to smoke?
Should you now quit smoking, your husband will also hopefully benefit from you taking the first steps, you can be an example for him that it is possible to live and enjoy your life nicotine free and he might even follow you. Don't use him as a primary reason for quitting or for continuing to smoke. You are responsible for your life and somehow I don't think you would want to hand that responsibility over to somebody else, not even your husband - I also don't think that he would like you to be responsible for his decisions / actions.
You admit yourself that junkie thinking or denial-issues are your biggest problems. It really all boils down to them, doesn't it? Angie, do not use your husband's smoking, his health issues or anything else that you might come up with as an excuse to justify to yourself why you continue to smoke.
Look at your reasoning and examine it closely - would a cigarette / nicotine alter any of your worries or make the situations better? Have a look again at all your arguments and oppose them with the truth.
(((Angie))), go on, prove it to yourself that you really
can do it! I know you can - there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of, tell your "inner junkie" that you do not want to play with her anymore, maybe even surprise yourself by finding out that your quit will be
a lot easier than you might anticipate it to be.
I really hope you find that you belong to the group of smokers who will quit - and sooner rather than later. Please, make sure you read all the replies in here as well as all the reading-recommendations given to you.
And THEN ...
Just go for it!!! You know you want to - and you are / it is so worth it!!!
Gitte
385 days and a bit