Hi Joel,
I emailed you many months ago. At that time I was new in my quit, but still wanted to thank you for the web site and the "support". Well, although I never became a member at freedom, I still wanted to celebrate my success of turning silver today (just two days after my 41st Birthday). I guess that I also wanted to share a little bit about what I learned. The reason I feel the need to share is that I was a closet smoker and, although I have revealed this to some of my friends, there are some people very close to me that do not "know" (maybe they do, but we don't speak about it).
Anyways, here is an abbreviation of my journey to date.....
The physical withdrawal period was relatively easy for me. I made it through the first couple of weeks without too many problems. I drank a lot of water and this seemed to help me feel like I was flushing the chemicals out of my system. The biggest hurdles for me were:
1) Accepting the fact that I could Never Take Another Puff. In the beginning I had to put this concept on the back burner and just focus on taking one moment, one hour, one day at a time. I think it wasn't until around 3 months that I started to believe that I could actually do this for the rest of my life. The articles related to taking one step at a time and celebrating every smoke free day were helpful.
2) I was very cranky for about the first 3 months. I was a bit discouraged reading about everyone on the board who was feeling so great after a month. I don't know what is was with me, but I think it may have taken me longer than others to get through the whole emotional loss thing/loss of a "friend". The articles on emotional loss helped with this.
3) I also did not feel the really fast physical recovery that many others talk about. It took me a number of months before I really felt like a was breathing better and had more energy. There were other physical changes that I often correlated to quitting, so I read the message boards and reminded myself that everyone's quit is different.
4) I was a closet smoker, so I went through this on my own.......of course, not entirely on my own, I was reading every day in the beginning and I still search the board for the names of people that quit around the same time as me. The information, inspiration and support on this site is truly amazing.
5) One of my favorite strings (to keep me from relapsing in the early months) is the string about how you can't believe that you actually...............(e.g. picked up cigarette butts out of an ashtray etc). For me it was mostly lies that I just could no longer live with.
Now for the good stuff.....
I am 6 months into my quit. Physically, I feel great. I have been working out and I have lost the 12 pounds that I gained during those first 3 months (now I am working on the next 12 that I needed to lose anyways). I really have no desire to smoke. I know that I am an addict and I know that taking a single puff would be complete relapse. I believe that this is the comfort level that I have read about for so many people. I can finally say that I will never smoke again and it does not scare me.
My biggest struggle right now is forgiving myself for the many (20) years of abuse that I did to my body. I did not smoke during my pregnancies but I did smoke during some of the months that I nursed. The thought of this just hurts me (obviously not as much as I may have hurt my kids). I have read the related strings on looking forward and not backwards, but this is one that I am still working on. Anyways, we learn more each day.
My advice to anyone reading at the board (since I don't yet quality for Turkey Triumphs).
If you are 40 and you smoke, QUIT!
If you are 60 and you smoke, QUIT (it is never too late)!
If you are 20 and you smoke, QUIT (it is always time to quit)!
IF YOU SMOKE..........QUIT!
So, how do you quit?
READ, READ, READ
1) Step one - admit you are an addict, so educate yourself.
2) Step two - Never take another puff.
3) Step Three - Read the board and all of the articles for support. If you have a question, I can pretty much guarantee that the answer lies somewhere on the board.
4) Step Four - Respect yourself and your body..............Believe in yourself, because YOU CAN DO IT!
So, I just wanted to put some thoughts down and I wanted to say thank you for everything. It is kind of strange thanking someone that I have never met, but this is them most important thing in my life. It may sound strange....yes, my kids are important, but I am sure that I would not be there for them long term if I continued to smoke.
Thank you so much............
Sandy
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